I have a fever of 102.8. For those of you who don’t know- anything over 101 in an adult is kinda scary cause our brains to have the expendy power that little kids brains do. So my brain cells may fry but since I got more of them than most people I figure I’m ok.

I gotta bitch about this letter in Salon, and since it’s gonna either be a long ass bitch or an incoherant fever rant, I’m writing it here instead of there.

To paraphrase the original letter- ‘I’m a boomer, I work with gen xers, they’re cynical and I don’t like them, wah fucking wah’.

Alright Boomers- get fucking over yourselves. Seriously and let’s see why us Xer’s might be a little tired of y’all.

Sure you got the civil rights ball rolling, but we’re still fighting to get minority votes counted. Only difference is now you boomers are the ones being the political office holding pissheads.

Sure, you got us reproductive freedoms, but it’s your same damn generation of justices and politicians and religious leaders that are trying to send us girls to the drycleaners for wire hangers.

Sure, because of you interracial marriages are now ok, but bring up gay marriage and even progressive boomers will tell you to drop it so we don’t lose elections. Shhhhhhhhhh- we don’t want too much freedom.

My generation faces lower real wages, higher debt levels, less access to education and healthcare, poor quality schools for our kids and no possible way of affording college for them (If I save 2x my annual income every year for the next 8 years I might have enough money to send the kiddo to 2 years of community college- no shit), and an environment that is quicky going to hell because of the boomer love of the SUV. We have no retirement possibilities. We’re going to be taxed into extinction to support your social security and medicare. Those of us that were lucky enough to be able to afford to buy a house are already looking at massive foreclosures because the economy that most of us have to live in looks a lot less rosy for us than for you. Oh yeah- and you boomers in congress just yanked the bankruptcy rug out from underneath us (though it is good news for the new boyfriend who does bankruptcy law as part of his job- kaching).

So yeah, we’re cynical and we see most of you as greedy hypocritical bastards. Stick that happy daisy in the end of your pipe and smoke it.

If anyone has something to say about punctuation or spelling errors they can smoke that too- 102.8 suckers. I’d like to see you string together something coherent at that temp.

I recently took part in a race discussion on the ‘Newsweek’ blog in relation to Michael Richards’ blowout. Most of the comments were ignorant rants about white people not owing blacks anything and other attempts to deflect white guilt. Then there was this:

Well it’s Carb Fest 06 peeps- and I’m cooking for a crowd and hanging out with some of my favorite people who I only get to see very occasionally, like Ish from Sweden and Rosarita and the Naughty Professor. The four of us scandalized Grand Central Bakery this morning by talking about orgy horror stories. I heard one about a girl who lost her engagement ring and had to ask all the other girls at party to check their no no parts for it.

After a tasty dinner of Eritrean food tonight with the above mentioned trouble causers I will be making the following for your Carb Fest pleasure.

Turkey cooked in an entire bottle of wine
Mashed potatoes with roasted garlic and dill
Smokey green beans
Spinach salad with mandarins, sour cherries and raspberry vinaigrette
Whipped sweet potatoes
Cornbread stuffing with sausage
Baked wild rice pilaf
Cranberry-apricot relish
Blackberry Crumble for dessert

I think that is it. I talked to the vodka fairy and a great big bottle of Kettle One is being delivered to those of us who have been the most naughty and nice this year. So I’ll be slurry drunk by dinner.

Ok- so I skipped Passion of the Christ because it was pretty damn apparent to me that Mel Gibson is a raving lunatic. Besides, unless absudities are pointed out (i/e Monty Python’s Life of Brian or the Meaning of Life) I don’t like religious movies. Sorry Charlston Heston- but I don’t think the bible is the source for the greatest story ever told.

However I do have a great big juicy soft spot for Mayan history and that is a story never told in Americna film. But I have to get over some issues before I can see Apocalypto

Eventually the US needs to realize that it created the Middle East situation long ago. We put Saddam in power. We packed the Shah over a democratically elected leader in ’53.

Face it, our gamble to control the region for cheap oil has failed. At the moment we are begging the other players to front us more chips and they will. They want something more valuable: recognition and power on the world’s stage. We need to cut our losses and figure out different strategies because the longer the we stay the more we lose.

Why do you think none of “allies” are jumping to help. Because the more we lose, the more they gain.

The world has changed under our feet. We failedour role as the world’s cop (thanks to GW). Now we need to figure our next moves. Russia and China are becoming more powerful and South America is a starting to figure out they don’t need us as much anymore.

Just because we are the richest country in the world doesn’t mean we are the smartest. It’s time to let other nations to take the stage for a while. Let’s figure out our own issues like polarization, our gluttonous and poisonous consumption patterns, why our health-care is so bad compared to others, how we are going to move beyond oil, and how we will protect our own resources.

Sometimes you got to know when to fold ’em…

“If a guy simply taps me on the shoulder, I just swoon. Even when I go to the toilet, my body reacts. I’m a little bit scared of myself,” one woman sufferer tells Shukan Post.

Another adds: “When I got on the train one day, I could feel blood gushing toward a certain part of my body and it felt so good I almost let out a moan. It was sheer murder when everybody got pushed into the carriage.”

Yet another woman has her say.

“Even the vibration of my mobile phone is enough to set me off,” she says. “My friend said there’s something called Iku Iku byo (Cum Cum Disease). I guess I’ve got that.”

What may be afflicting these women, the best-selling weekly says, is an ailment called persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS).

PSAS has been described as an affliction that brings about orgasm through the slightest of jolts regardless of whether they’re aroused, or even thinking about sex. What’s more, orgasms experienced by PSAS sufferers are not just momentary phenomena, instead affecting women over anywhere from a few days to a week, with one reported case seeing 300 orgasms in a single day.

Remember that movie idea I had a few years ago: Women in Heat? Hmmm?

OK, I am trying not to laugh, I swear.

But the Japanese to call it Cum Cum Disease!

If you weren’t fortunate enough to miss pisshead McCain this weekend talking to Snuffalufagus, I mean Stephanopoulos, then you completely missed his I’m against discrimination except when I’m for it spiel.

MCCAIN: I just want to point out again, I believe that gay
marriage should not be legal, OK, but I don’t believe that we should
discriminate against any American, because that’s not the nature of
America, OK?

So what do you call it when one part of the population is not allowed to do something another part of the population can do because to allow that section of the population equal access would break some long standing tradition?

Let’s see:

When certain people (blacks, women) weren’t allowed to vote while white men were- we called that discrimination

When certain people weren’t allowed into colleges (blacks, women) while white men were – we called that discrimination

When certain people (blacks, women) can’t get a particular job or home or line of credit that they qualify for because they are not white men- we call that discrimination.

So how is it again that when certain people want to marry but aren’t allowed to because they aren’t what we normally expect to see in a married couple (i/e a man and a woman) it’s not discrimination?

Seriously, anytime someone can show me a logical argument for why 2 people can’t pledge to be responsible for each other in life because they are of the same sex- I will gladly stop calling it discrimination. But we all know there is never a logical explanation of discrimination, just selfish justifications for perpetuating it (like “I’m trying to run for preznit and I must appeal to the base by being a giant bigot.”)

I know there are quite a few of you middling democrats out there who liked McCain in 2000 and maybe even in 2004- but he has shown his not-so-maverick side since 2000 and it ain’t’ pretty. Unless, of course, you think watching one more person take it up the ass from Georgie Boy while smiling with a mouth full of shit sandwich is a maverick move. Then there’s been a whole lot of maverick made lately (uhm Lieberman I am talking to you too).

Sorry for the expletive in the tagline, but Carville is psiing me off.

After a trend turning election by the Democrats, Carville is calling for the OUSTER of Howard Dean. His logic is that Dean did not use all of the $10 M line of credit the Dems could have used in the election and prevented them from winning even more of the 30 seats won.

To me this smacks of pure envy. Sure, you may criticize Dean; anyone has a right to. But to call for Dean’s ouster is downright irresponsible. Dean’s fifty state strategy not only put unlikely seats in play (we won in Indiana of all places!), but it trickled down to the state level where Dems not only hold a majority of governorships, but all also state legislatures a place from where national candidates are fostered. Please, Mr. Carville what is wrong with that?

Mr. Carville owes Mr. Dean an apology for making such a ridiculous request. Thankfully, the head of the Democratic Party has not responded, judiciously staying above the fray, in my opinion.

Mr. Carville, you may be wanting to get back in the spotlight, but until you mend your ways your work may best be done in the shadows.

Huffington Post released an internal FoxNews memo proving that they make up news. Will that stop losers from sending envelopes full of powder to people like Keith Olberman or David Letterman. Probably not. Fox News works because there are enough assholes who believe what they believe no matter what the facts are (like the infamous teacher in New Jersey).

Of course, if politics fails they always have OJ. I wonder how long before HE becomes regular on-air talent?

I am very disappointed that my favorite dirty old man didn’t guess that the last virtual cookie was for Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie, but I guess that’s because he doesn’t watch the video with the volume turned on.

So here’s an oldie. It’s been stuck in my head for days and I figure the best way to get it out of my head is to inflict it on you all.

The title is in the lyrics- you just have to tell me who sings it.

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day