This is the Monkey’s Lemon Lime birthday cake. I had no idea how I was going to decorate it until I snipped the end off a ziplock and decided to do spirals all over.

The thin greenish lines that seem to criss cross it say “Happy Birthday” (the pic is upside down-, there now you can see it. It’s like op art. ). I didn’t trust my ziplock cake decorating skills for lettering, so I bought a tube of green gel icing. It didn’t work out so well. So this is the world’s ugliest cake, but it sure was tasty.

Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s pastor thinks that Hillary “ain’t had to work twice as hard just to get accepted”.

Seriously, she’s the better politician, lawyer and wonk, yet her husband was Governor and President long before she even got to start her own political career. And even before she was a politician she spent 8 years being the target of more Republican mud slinging than any first lady in history and still managed to walk out of there without a trace of dirt on her. Pastor Wright, she has worked not just twice as hard but she dealt with being slandered as a murder. Please pull your head out of your ass now, thank you.

But where is the outrage about how Obama is being tolerant of sexism because he has not come out with a strong and harshly worded condemnation of his pastors comments? Where are the news outlets that buzz whenever the word black comes out of the mouth of anyone who has ever met Hillary? I am pretty sure that Hillary could say “I’m not a fan of black coffee” and have it turned into a big ordeal about how “black coffee” is code for black people.

If Ferraro’s comments were so atrocious that Hillary had to condem them and Ferraro had to leave the campaign, shouldn’t Barak’s pastor have to do the same thing? I mean, he basically is saying that Hillary has it easier cause she’s a woman?

I am so incredibly tired of sexism being okay with the general public that I am thinking we should declare women to be our own separate, mixed race so that next time someone says something like “women are bad drivers” we can call the racist and have them shamed in the national media.

I am officially the mother of a teenager. How the fuckity fuck did that happen? Who said he was allowed to get older?

But most importantly- does this make me old? (Cause children’s birthdays are all about the parents, natch) I’m about to have my 30th birthday (for the 4th time) I only kinda feel old. And I kinda feel not old.

From Pandagon:

In contrast, Sweden experimented in 1999 with a radically different approach that many now regard as much more successful: it decriminalized the sale of sex but made it a crime to buy sex. In effect, the policy was to arrest customers, but not the prostitutes.

Some Swedish prostitutes have complained that the policy reduced demand and thus lowered prices, while forcing sex work underground. But the evidence is strong that the new approach reduced trafficking in Sweden, and opinion polls show that Swedes regard the experiment as a considerable success. And the bottom line is that if you want to rape a 13-year-old girl imported from Eastern Europe, you’ll have a much easier time in Amsterdam than in Stockholm.

Emphasis mine.

I love it when I’m right. I mean I’m right fairly often, but when there is evidence to back me up, I’m very happy. You should know that a lot of the time- I’m just pulling shit out of my ass when I rant here. It’s not uninformed shit, but it is just off the top of my head most days.

I heard a saying once that the good lord made the countryside,people made the city, and the devil made the small town.

After two years in a place we moved to in the hopes of finding some peace & quiet, now I know what they mean.

One of our neighbors is the mayor’s (grand)kid.

She hates us, and our animals.

The cops just came pounding on our door.

***UPDATE***
so, here’s what happened:

My mom & dad live across the street from us, next to the cat-hating mayor’s grandbaby. No, we don’t know if it was them who made the call, It could’ve been the people on the corner who let their dogs run loose & trap cats to bring to animal control. It coulda been the city councilman aroud the corner. It coulda been the cop married to the neigborhood gossip who have weekly parties you can hear down the block & let their friends park in our parking lot and we’ve never complained because we’re nice neighbors & hey it’s a parking lot, but until 2 weeks ago never had the courtesy to ask us over. (I may adopt a new policy: If I can hear it, i consider myself invited & free to drink their booze)

The dogs (supposedly) were barking at our house late last night (we have a noise ordinance in effect after 9PM)

Last night around midnight, i’m sitting in Mom & Dad’s living room, reading the intertubes and composing my next post about why Keith Olbermann is the worst person in the world*

BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!!!!

I call out an alarmed “whoisit”

My dad gets the door, it’s a police officer, answering a “complaint” about the dogs barking. condescending little snot. the house belongs to my sister, so i go get her, she wheels out the door, to the sidewalk. cop stands on the porch over her, screaming at her about the dogs, and how they’ve come out “several times” (bullshit*)

He ignores our assertion that we’re being unfairly targeted, that our house has been vandalized & someone cut a hole in our screen & let the cats out.

When we ask for his name & badge # argues that “we don’t have badge numbers” When we press him for his name he gives his last name, reluctantly.

When we point out that we have no way of knowing if he’s a real police officer her opens us his jacket to show off his badge & taser (FL cops are notoriously taser-happy) I assume he had a gun as well, it’s a safe assumption.

He made it clear that they had been hanging around our house (where we were not) upwards of 20 minutes “listening” to the dogs bark “unprovoked”

He claimed it took an hour and a half to find us at our parent’s house across the street where everybody

the only other time they came about the dogs was well over a year ago, and they were jerks then too

I just added Blue Lyon and Girl Detective to the blogroll. I feel like I am forgetting someone. Am I forgetting someone? My brain feels stuffed full of fluff. If I forgot you, yell at me in comments.

I’m mad at Keith Olbermann & Glenn Beck is making sense.

Your attentions are unwanted.

Yes, I saw you when you pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and did the creepy look up thing at me. I ignored you. I’m not interested. I am simply waiting for a cab with a cart full of groceries and my child at the end of a long ass day. I am not here for your visual pleasure.

So the cab took a really really long time, as they do in this neighborhood. But finally I see it pulling into the parking lot just as you, Dear Fuckwad, decide that harassing a woman with a child from your car is a good idea. So you flip a uey and CUT MY CAB OFF so you can pull up and “hey baby”-ing me. When I flip you off, you can’t understand why.

So I tell you. I’m not interested. I’m with my kid. AND YOUR BLOCKING MY CAB YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

To which you reply with a “You stuck up white bitch”. You don’t move until the cab driver gets out of his cab to come tell you to fuck off.

Dear Fuckwad, next time I see your stupid black car at the grocery store I’m gonna key it and puncture your tires. That’s how we stuck up white bitchez roll.

Sincerely,
ElizaBITCH

to talk about how race affects things? Actually I think it’s fine to talk about how race impacts people in a negative way, but what if you’re talking about how someone of an oppressed race might be benefiting from it?

What I’m getting at is that I think Ferraro had a point. I think that if Obama were just another white guy, this would be an entirely different campaign. I think that because Obama is black it gives a lot of people (particularly white men) a way of not looking like a privileged asswipe while still maintaining privilege over women. See, they can say they are all progressive and stuff- They’re supporting the Black Guy!

But here’s the thing. For months people (okay, privileged white guys) have been bitching about how Hillary has an edge with women. But we don’t call that sexist when they point it out. Hillary, a woman and therefor also from a traditionally oppressed class gets harangued pretty often for her middle aged lady support (If it weren’t for old ladies- Hillary wouldn’t be in the race kind of stuff).

So why is it racist to point out that being Black is helping Obama, but not sexist to point out that having a vagina is helping Clinton?

This year’s election may be historical for electing the first man to the top job in the government, and some would say the world, should Mr. Obama succeed in winning the Democratic nomination and then the presidency.

Mr. Obama is not the first man to aspire to that office. We cannot forget the disaster that was John Kennedy’s attempt, the first by any man, to be president. He was famously brought down when he uttered the infamous line “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. While I’m sure Mr. Kennedy had meant for his words to be taken as a call to action for the American people, what we saw was another man trying to put off the hard work of a job onto his subordinates. That is what the public saw, and Mr. Kennedy crashed and burned as Ms. Nixon was elected to office.

Today the news shows are buzzing with Gerard Ferraro’s recent comments. Ferraro, you will recall, was Ms. Mondale’s running mate in the 1984 election and the first male on a major ticket since the Kennedy debacle. Mr. Ferraro had said that if Mr. Obama was Ms., his campaign would never have gotten this far. On ABC this morning, he tried to clarify his remarks.

“I was talking about historic candidacies and what I started off by saying (was that) if you go back to 1984 and look at my historic candidacy, which I had just talked about all these things, in 1984 if my name was Geraldine Ferraro instead of Gerard Ferraro, I would have never been chosen as a vice presidential candidate, it had nothing to do with my qualification.”

The Obama camp has been defending itself from what it calls “sexist” attacks, though to many it looks like the same old victimology that we often see from menenist groups. While Mr. Kennedy was certainly not the first menenist, his campaign is credited with being the start of the “all men are victims” ideology. Mr. Obama seems to be playing that aspect to the hilt. One day he is crying on camera, the next he is whining about fairness.

I’m not a sexist, I just don’t think that Obama is the right man to be the first male president. He is inexperienced and I am not sure that we want someone with that kind of emotional distance to be in charge of the red button. Do we really want a president who won’t think about the children in times of crisis? Do we really want a president who might be too distracted by sports playoffs to handle the business of our country? Mr. Obama has displayed some of the worst traits of his kind, from whining about fairness to being cold and dispassionate as a speaker, and getting tripped up on the meanings of words while claiming all the time that words matter. Do we really want someone with lacking verbal skills to be in charge of diplomacy for us? And let’s not forget his children, who have been left at home in Chicago while he galavants around the country. Can we trust a man who cares so little for his own children to care for all the children of America?

Some say that our dislike of Obama is because of his gender. They have said that those of us who would cross party lines to vote for McCain if Obama wins the nomination are traitors to the Democratic party and mired in misandry.

On this, I am going to have to agree with Charles Allen’s recent editorial in the Washington Post, men are a bit dim. The get obsessive about sports teams and fast engines, and are swooning for Obama like teenage boys at a LadyBugs concert. For Obama, he might do better to stick with the things men are naturally good at, like home maintenance and yard work and he might want to get back to his own kids in Chicago. He just doesn’t have the experience or the temperament to be president. He is not the right woman for the job.