It’s a very surreal position I am in right now.

For the first time since FDR, someone in my family isn’t voting for the Democrat. And that someone is me. Four years ago, I couldn’t even imagine it. 8 years ago, I was screaming at Nader voters for their betrayal.

But I can’t vote for Obama. The sexism was/is too much. The kowtowing to Republican beliefs is too much. The horrendous economic policies are too much. I wonder if I was in a swing state like dear Wonder and family, if I could hold as fast to my beliefs. But I am luckily in a dark blue state, so I am not faced with that dilemma.

But I do have hope. For two reasons.

First, regardless of what happens on next Tuesday, the long Bush nightmare is over. No more Commander Chimpy. No more Darth Cheney. No more Mad Cowboy Disease. No more of this horrible dystopia. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief on that one.

Second, I have hope not because of Obama, but because of the people he has inspired. The poly sci idealist in me gets teared up at the sheer number of people who are involved in the goings on of their government right now. (Granted a good number of those people are like my asshole stalker, but not all). This is what democracy is supposed to look like. People being involved in the decisions made at the top. People caring enough to do the hard work that democracy requires. It is not enough to vote.

Political science is the study of how people distribute power. Democracy is supposed to be the mass diffusion of this power to the people, so they can have power over their own lives. As a feminist, seeing people step up and accept that power makes me giddy. It’s a big responsibility, and sometimes it’s soooo much easier to let someone else do the hard work.

So come what may, I will celebrate next Tuesday. I spent about an hour and a half arguing with the Puppy last night (it’s foreplay for me, people) while he tried one more time to “sell me on Obama”. That ship has done sailed. But Tuesday night is all about an end to the horrors of Bush and a moment when the American people have accepted their responsibility for guiding their own lives.

That is worth at least a couple of vodka tonics, maybe even some champagne.

I dare you to come up with something scarier than the Kid’s costume this year. I really don’t think you can, his idea was just that terrifyingly good.

Can you guess what might be the scariest costume of 2008?

Sarah Palin in a bikini with a gun- NOPE

McCain making air quotes around everything- NOPE

A Diebold voting machine- NOPE.

My brilliant child (proving that apples don’t fall far) is dressed up as a Wall Street Banker today. His hair is slicked back all American Psycho style, he has fake money bulging out of his suit pockets.

Yeah- see if you can beat that.

Who doesn’t know her Clash. This is a public service announcement- WITH GUITAR!

So 10k to not have sex. And there are no takers. This should definitively prove that there is nooooooooo form of abstinence education that actually works. I mean the federal government can’t even give away enough money to make people not have sex.

I think it would be better to say, I dunno, put that money into bringing down the fucking outrageous cost of birth control.

But what do I know, I’m a slutty girl with a lady brain.

Sent to me by Ouyandan, who is evilly delicious (or deliciously evil- you pick)

It’s funny cause it’s true

I picked up my birth control prescription today (Nuva ring if you’re wondering. I love my Nuva Ring. They will have to pry it from my cold dead hands if they want to take it away).

Used to be about $30 a month. I got 3 months worth.

For $190

Seriously.

That’s more than double.

Seriously, it’s brilliant. Inspiring even.

Courtesy of Donna Darko
http://donnadarko.wordpress.com/2008/10/27/whats-wrong-with-anti-racism-part-9/

carmonn: One thing that gets on my nerves is the need to make everything into a feminist issue, as if feminism is a catch all for all social justice issues.
Violet: And of course what’s really going on there is the patriarchal
brainwashing that women’s rights don’t deserve to be an issue on their own, and “good” women should instead be concerned about other issues (ones that involve men).
So every issue gets its own movement: gay rights, racism, anti-war,
poverty, prison reform, environmentalism — except women’s rights. Women can’t have a movement just devoted to women’s rights. No, in order to be intellectually credible to the patriarchy they have to focus on cleaning up all the OTHER messes.
Then, after the men have eaten and left the table, maybe
the women will get to sit down. After they’ve done the dishes of
course

Now me and the Queen have butted head about this more than once. Go read DD’s piece, I have nothing more to say than what she already said.

It has come to my attention that what men need is clear, concrete guidelines for what is rape or sexual assault or just plain sexist doochebaggery. We women have spent a lot of time trying to get men to empathize with what being raped feels like, but perhaps it might be made more clear to them if they saw their own actions through our eyes.

Below the fold could be triggering for some people.

Did you ever..

Yell at a girl on the street. You know, you’re just complimenting her on her looks, fine ass, whatever. Did it ever actually get you a date? (I’m going with “no” since I have yet to meet a single couple whose story starts with “he was street harassing me about my jiggly titties”) When you yell at a girl on the street, most likely she is going to try and pretend she didn’t hear you. That is our self defense kicking in. It’s also a reminder that we can never expect to go outside of our homes and go about our business without fear. We fear you when you do this. We do not see it as a compliment. Do you want to be the doochebag that girls fear and ignore? You belong on Holla Back because you are a creep.

Try to cop a feel on a girl who you weren’t in the middle of making out with? It’s just a game, just a joke, to you. But to us it’s a humiliating reminder that we don’t get to control who touches us. This is middle school, boys will be boys bra snapping and ass grabbing to you. It’s not so fun for us. You are sexually assaulting someone when you do that.

Keep asking a girl out after she told you no or put you off. Did she tell you she had a boyfriend and you said “that doesn’t matter”. Imaginary boyfriends (or real ones for that matter) are another self protection device. We use them when a guy won’t take no for an answer and we want to be nice (because being mean can get us hurt).You are bordering on creepy stalker territory.

Get all worked up cause a girl was dancing/ flirting/ whatever and didn’t actually ask if the girl was just dancing/ flirting/ whatever and assumed that those things meant guaranteed sex? Did you think that the girl was asking for trouble by doing that? That kind of thinking is the equivalent of assuming every single person you have ever shaken hands with want to go into business with you or hire you for a job. You are, at best, a rape apologist. At worse- a future rapist.

While messing around try to take things to the next step and have your hand moved away? Did you wait a few minutes and try the same move over? To you, it’s just perseverance. To us, moving your hand away was a clear sign that we don’t want to go any further. Everytime you keep trying after that reminds us that our own limits aren’t respected. Every time you move your hand (or mouth or whatever) to somewhere she doesn’t want it to be- you are sexually assaulting her.

Take a “No” or “Not right now” for a maybe. Did you keep trying to change her mind? Did you think that if you just kept at it, she might give in? Were you confused because she is ok with kissing or whatever, but won’t go further, and you thought maybe you just needed to try a little harder to get her in the mood? If she did give in- at the very least what you got was pity sex. More likely you harassed her and wore her down until it was easier to give in than to keep fighting you. Is that how you want to remembered, as the asshole who just kept pushing until she did something she didn’t want? Wearing someone down until they can no longer say no makes you a rapist.

Did you try to bargain your way out of a “no” with a “how about a nice back rub” or “what about just a blow job” instead? You’re no better than the asshole above.

sleep with a girl who was maybe a bit too drunk? Maybe she didn’t even seem *that* drunk at first. Maybe she was blurry but kissing you at first. Or maybe more than kissing. Did you keep going after the point when it was plainly clear she was too drunk (vomiting is a good clue, inability to walk is another) Did she pass out in the middle and you took her earlier actions and her lack of ability to say no now as an ok to finish what you started? Maybe it didn’t even get to sex. Maybe you just felt her up a little? You are a rapist.

This is by no means the sum total of all possible situations where rape/ sexual assault/ doochebaggery occur. It’s just a few of those fuzzy “grey” areas which aren’t so fuzzy when you think about consent.

It’s time you boys stopped treating anything less than a No as a maybe. Yes means yes, everything else means trouble.

Some Christians, once again showing neither a sense of irony or literacy, say prayers over a golden bull on wall street.

Huhm, where have I heard something about religious types being punished for worshiping false idols? Where was that again?

Something, golden calf, Moses, something.