Why I’m not writing about

Obama and the clusterfuck(s) of universal healthcare, gay marriage, DADT, the economy, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, etc. etc.

Because writing “I told you so” ten times a day is no fun.

I really really hoped I was wrong. I really really wanted Obama to prove me wrong. I am as unhappy at his performance as the rest of the country is. The only difference is that I’m not even a little surprised. Even Bush surprised me with the depths of his awfulness.

So that I never have to type this again

I don’t understand wingnuts. I really don’t. Ignoring starving children is not at all disrespectful to them. Being rape apologists, misogynists, and basically boot-lickers for the all supreme patriarchy isn’t disrespectful to them.

But that I, on a public blog, choose to call The Kid “The Kid” is THE MOST HORRIBLE CRIME EVER.

Since I don’t ever want to type this again (cause damn it isn’t the first time that someone got their panties bunched over it) here’s the run down.

The Kid is The Kid because he will have a pseudonym until he is an adult. Parents do enough to humiliate their kids, and I figure the Kid can decide on his comfort level when he is grown.

The Kid is the Kid and not “my son” cause I don’t own him. He’s not a pet. He’s a person. His own person. It would be mighty hypocritical for me to be preaching about choice and body autonomy if I treated the Kid like a piece of property. He has actually said in the past that he doesn’t like the “my son” shtick. It makes him feel like a suitcase.

Also- the Kid knows about the blog. He knows he is called “the Kid”. He may at some point do some posting of his own, but right now he’s more interested in manga and video games than in writing here. The Kid will proudly tell you that he is a feminist.

And just so I can add some more fuel on the fire- the Kid has been called Monkey Boy, Stinkerbell, Dorkalicious, Dorkwad, Rugrat, Sir Rotten Monkey, Bucket But, Pea, Tater Tot and any number of other nicknames that I’m sure the wingnuts will think are some horrible form of child abuse.

The Kid has read this entire post. He rolled his eyes when I explained why I was writing it. He thinks you people that object to him being called “The Kid” are “a bunch of untalented hobknockers”. He says that is supposed to be read with an English accent. (I don’t know how you type an English accent though. Do I have to change the spelling of words now so that color is colour?)

He also kindly requests the you HELP BUNNY TAKE OVER THE WORLD by posting it on your blog.

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(> <) And in conclusion he says “rutabaga” which is an inside joke that none of you will get, but he said it so I have to type it.

The othering of evil

I watched The Pianist the other day. It’s a beautifully made film and I like Adrien Brody.

But it’s a film made by a man who plead guilty to raping a 13 year old girl.

I love James Brown. Get on Up is a song that is sure to get me dancing around the house. But he was certainly a wife beater and very likely a rapist.

Thomas Jefferson is my favorite of the founding fathers. I believe that his idea of spilling blood every so often is the only way to counter-act Michel’s rule of oligarchy. But Jefferson was a racist and a rapist.

There are more examples from Bill Clinton and Obama and Roosevelt to Helen Mirren and even (sometimes) Joss Whedon, examples of people who I do (or could) respect except that they have serious issues with racism or classism or sexism or a combination of all that plus some violence and abuse thrown in.

(And I haven’t even thrown in the people I do dislike- like Schwarzenegger or Clarence Thomas).

We do this thing where we take things that are horrible like rape or murder or violence or hate and we call them evil. We use that word, evil, so that we don’t have to do the hard work of looking into ourselves to see if we might share some of the same things that cause that kind of awfulness. A rapist is a creepy man in a dark alley, not a founding father or a man who makes art. A racist is a beer-bellied red neck in a southern state, not your kid’s guidance counselor.

When we push away the awful things, when we shove them into a closet or box them into a stereotype of what we think evil is, then we give it a way to flourish in ourselves. We don’t have to examine it too closely. We don’t have to hold ourselves accountable. We “other” evil things, so we can continue liking and respecting things and people and even ourselves.

But we have to do the hard work. We have to admit we are the source of the hatred and the violence, either in our own hearts or when we refuse to acknowledge it in people we like or love. The only way to fix “evil” is to own it.

I would sell my kidney for an airconditioner or a flight to Sweden

You know- it’s 3 am here and still way too hot to sleep- so I feel like rambling away for a minute.

I keep giving Bob a chance to prove that he really believes in what he says he believes, you know Jesus and every life being sacred and all that. I keep waiting for Bob (or any forced birther really) to show me proof of the loving compassion they claim to have for living beings. Real proof. Not just slut-shaming with “God bless you” tacked on the end.

They don’t show compassion to pregnant women and I have yet to see them hold men responsible for abortion rates. (Hey Bob- with 70% of non-custodial parents (mostly dudes) NOT paying child support- ya think that might be why so many women are unable to face unexpected motherhood- why aren’t you haunting the MRA sites if you’re all about personal responsibility?)

They don’t show it to living, breathing children (the largest number of people living in poverty in this country are children. Hungry, homeless children.)

They don’t show it to the poor (It’s all about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! Shut your legs whores!)

They claim that adoption is a wonderful thing, but I’ve yet to meet a forced-birther who is a foster parent or adoptive parent. I certainly have never met a forced-birther who adopted an older child or disabled child.

They claim to love the babies soooooooo much, but they treat children as an inevitable punishment inflicted on women for having sex. Dear god- can you imagine how fucked up a child would be if that is what his mom thought of him as- a punishment for having an orgasm?

So what is it that they really are after- since saving lives or lessening suffering isn’t on their agenda? What is it that they really want?

And dear old Bob- the troll who started this stream of consciousness, I’m am still waiting for proof that you actually believe in Jesus. You treat Jesus’ name like the sewn-in label of a fake designer hand bag. You want it for the prestige, for the feeling of righteousness you get when pointing out someone else’s sin, for the feeling of inclusion you get when acting morally superior. But you don’t want to pay the price to have the real thing. You don’t want to do the real, hard, sacrificing work that it takes to be a Christian.

So what do you really believe then Bob? When you strip away all they lying and hypocrisy- what’s left of you?

(Please feel free to replace Bob’s name with the name of any forced-birther troll. They are so tediously, boringly similar that at one point I wrote FAQ)

Why agnosticism/ atheism is more ethically strenuous than religion

I go back and forth between believing in god and not believing in god. In my head, I have long running arguments with whatever supreme being may or may not exist.

The current argument I’m having is “See- it’s THOSE assholes who make me not believe. It’s the bible thumpers filled with hate for gays and women and anyone that is different. It’s THOSE people, who get erections at the thought of tormenting desperate pregnant women trying to enter abortion clinics. It’s THOSE assholes who show up at funerals with “GOD HATES FAGS” signs. It’s those assholes who kill doctors in your name that make me doubt you. It’s the assholes who don’t pull the trigger, but gleefully rejoice in the suffering caused by the trigger pullers that make me think you are not there. It’s the fundamentalists of EVERY religion who use violence and death that make me think religion is a disease that must be cured”

So that is why I am an agnostic instead of an atheist. Because I have these arguments, all the time.

Bible thumpers are terrified of us non-believers. They don’t think that morality or ethics can exist without divine consequence. How can people be expected to do the right thing if there isn’t some version of hellfire awaiting them if they stray?

But not believing in god is not quite as simple as not believing in the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny doesn’t hand you a big book full of contradictory rules that you must follow.

So how do you know what’s right or wrong if someone isn’t telling you what to think?

You have to reason it out. You can’t rely on a cosmic deity saying “cause I said so “like a scolding daddy. You can start with the basics- like what is murder and why is it wrong, or is it wrong?* You have to question everything, and you have to make sure the answers you come up with are not from a self serving place (like “murder is okay if it’s …….”).

You have to be a bit of a philosopher. You have to rigorous, and dead honest, and watch out for hypocrisy. It’s a lot of work (though since I enjoy thought experiments as much as the next person- I kinda like it). And you don’t have a net to fall back on when you’re stuck with a conundrum. It’s just you. You have to accept the consequences of your beliefs without a pulpit backing you up.

You have to develop tests for your beliefs. If A is true here, then is it also true here? Are there situations where it doesn’t apply, and why?

To be a non-believer means you must question everything and then do the hard work of answering it for yourself. To be religious** means to question nothing (or very little) and go on faith alone.

Lacking religion does not mean I lack an ethical core or a moral code. It means that my moral code has be rigorously tested and questioned.

*FTR- I believe murder is bad because it violates another person’s right to bodily autonomy

**Yes- I know there are lots of thinking, questioning religious types. But the non-thinking hordes outnumber you and scream louder.

It’s on bitchez!

Look to the left.

See the little box above the donation button.

Let’s see just who is more about the charitable Christianity- Godless Whores or Actual Christians.

I think I already know the answer, but let’s see just how this little experiment plays out, shall we?

In which RQ’s personal life once again proves a point

Because of a comment I made at Shakesville offering up my personal experience with abortion, I’ve now had a wave of lovely “Christian” types flooding my blog from a forced pregnancy advocacy site.

Now let’s all remember that with just ONE kid, we are broke. And the link from the forced pregnancy site goes to my most recent blegging post. Our cabinets are empty. Our rent is still late. I have NO IDEA how we are going to get through this. If I had more than one kid- they would be starving by now. And we would most certainly be homeless.

But none of that matters cause I’m a bad whoring mommy.

It does, however, prove the point that forced-birthers don’t care about children and they certainly don’t believe in Jesus and his message, despite their protestations. Not a single one of the asswipes haunting the place can be assed to give a thin dime, but they can spend a whole lot of time worrying (fantasizing) about my sex life.

They have a kid right in front of them who doesn’t have enough of anything, but rather than do what Christ would have them do and help out, they slut shame.

This is also a huge part of the reason why I am agnostic. I don’t have a problem with most of the message. I have a problem with (most of)the people who claim to believe in it. ( The message being anything religious, from Christ to Buddha). If believing in god and Jesus means I have to become a hate-filled, judgmental asswipe too busy claiming moral superiority to show a bit of kindness, I want none of it. If that’s what god means, I’ll pass.

Update- since posting this I’ve had 2 small donations from people that I know are pro-choice (Thanks to both of you- we’ve got dinner covered for the next 3 days). But still not a thing from the people who claim to love Jesus and the little children.

Oh look- it’s a douchebag parade!

Apparently some god-bag right wing blog is all in a huff cause I’m a shameless abortion having hussy.

No- I am not giving you a link to where. I don’t believe in torturing people I generally like, but if you are a masochist and wanna read about a bunch whiny asswipes crying over the poor baybiesssssssssss- go find it in comments.

We now return to our regularly scheduled patriarchy blaming.

It’s that time of year again

I’m moving this back up to the top. Thanks to you peeps who chipped in before we’ve had groceries for the last week. But it’s all gone now.

Summers suck. For many families, winter with its high utility bills is crunch time. But for my little family, the idea of lazy summer days means food insecurity and housing insecurity, and months spent worrying.

Last year, you peeps helped me move into a new home after we lost our old one. This summer isn’t turning out to be much better. I’ve got 3 bucks and some change to last me until October. I’ve got no temp work coming in and all the little cash side jobs have dried up. I’ve got an empty fridge and wait to get food stamps or welfare money. And rent is late.

So peeps- if you’re in a spot where you can be kind, please hit the donate button on your left.