Or, a review of 48 minutes of the Road. I couldn’t watch any more than that. I like dark, bleak movies, I do. But this, no. There is no tiny sliver of light to hold onto in this film, and the theme of end of the world starvation is just too close to possible. So when Sylvie called me half way through, I was relieved to have an excuse to look away.

Me: I’m watching The Road

Sylvie: Oh my god! I read the book. It’s bleak. Turn it off!

Me: The people, the people in the cellar are going to the smokehouse!!!! You know that the cannibals are probably libertarians. They are sooooo the type to eat smoked people.

Sylvie: I read book. It doesn’t get better. Turn it off. Put on something happy and mindless. Watch Glee or something.

Me: I hate Glee. Actually I hate all musicals. I always feel super embarrassed for the people singing.

Sylvie: You liked Rent

Me: That’s because if you’re going to do a musical you have to sing about mortal death. Well all death is mortal, but you know what I mean.

This is where I changed the channel to something more upbeat. I think it was some flavor of Law and Order. And then made tuna melts, cause nothing removes the bad taste left by evil cannibals and certain horrible doom than delicious, buttery tuna and cheese.

But really, 48 minutes of cannibalism and watching a man repeatedly contemplate killing his son (for his son’s own good) was more than I could stand. Sylvie confirms that there is no happy ending, it stays bleak. All my little pipe dreams of the man and boy reaching a colony of kindly people at the coast who stuff them full of readily available fish are for nothing.

Of course if you’re suicidal, and looking for a movie to reaffirm your absolute hopelessness for the state of human kind before you swallow every pill in the house, this is probably a good choice. And Viggo Mortensen is never not interesting to watch.

I reblogged this in Tumblr, but I thought it deserved to be pulled out into the light a bit.

A patriarchal bargain is a decision to accept gender rules that disadvantage women in exchange for whatever power one can wrest from the system. It is an individual strategy designed to manipulate the system to one’s best advantage, but one that leaves the system itself intact.

This was posted in response to a question about why Kim Kardashian is famous. We (serious feminists and/or intelligent ladies) will point and laugh and disdain those women who make these bargains, pretending all the while like we haven’t made a few ourselves. Do you shave your legs, wear lipstick, shave or wax your bits, wear high heels, skirts, makeup of any kind, bras? You’ve made the bargain. Even if you convince yourself a thousand ways till Sunday that you do those things because you like them or because you need to.

For example, I shave my legs and pits. I would love to be able to skip those activities, but I am patriarchy deficient in enough other ways that the scorn from appearing in public with my above-patriarchy approved sized body in a tank top and skirt with hairy legs and pits is more than I can handle. A darling friend, who has a patriarchy approved sized body, can get away with her hairy legs and pits most of the time, but has to wear pants and sleeved shirts in the summer to avoid friction at work. I get away with not wearing makeup because I am traditionally attractive in spite of my size, and I still have a patriarchy approved hourglass shape.

But here’s the thing that is rarely said- it’s okay to make those bargains. It’s better if you can acknowledge that they are actual bargains while you make them, but if someone can’t or doesn’t acknowledge that they made these bargains shouldn’t make them an object of scorn.

That’s how we make ourselves never good enough. If you buy into all the patriarchy’s beauty standards, then you are ridiculous, fluffy and dumb. If you shun them, you are a fat, hairy legged, man hating, slutty, frigid lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with any of that). But the truth is that we are all trying to get by under a system that sucks. Do what you have to do, while fighting where you can afford to fight. Stop wasting your time policing the bargains others have made (even if those others are Katy Perry, ugh). Picking on the individual bargain makers doesn’t solve the problem of having to make the bargain to begin with. It only reinforces the bargain. Take breastfeeding vs. formula, for instance.

Before women (white, middle class and better women) entered the work force in mass (poor women have always worked) formula was the best thing new moms could do for their babies (or so says the patriarchy). Never mind the expense. Never mind the extra effort that you have to put into mixing the formula, heating the formula, sterilizing the bottles and nipples, cleaning the bottles and nipples, and the fact that formula isn’t actually as good for babies as breast milk. If you wanted to be a good mom in the 50s, 60s and 70s, you bottle fed. If you didn’t bottle feed, you were some kind of low class savage like the naked brown ladies in National Geographic.

Then women start going into the work force and suddenly the benefits of breastfeeding are touted as the only sensible choice for good mothers. Never mind that there is no paid maternity leave. Never mind if you have a condition that requires medication that might get into breastmilk and hurt your baby. Never mind that you work a minimum wage job and will be fired for taking breaks to pump milk on the toilet. If you don’t breastfeed your child you are some kind of declasse Jerry Springer mom who also feeds their kids koolaid and poptarts. (Never mind that food stamps and Wic will pay for formula, but not for a breast pump or to stay home with a newborn). Picking on women because they can’t or don’t breastfeed doesn’t actually make it easier for women to breastfeed (unless they take the patriarchy approved route of marrying a dude who makes enough money for her to stay home).

We need to take the fight where it belongs, to the structures that prop up the patriarchy****, and not to the individuals who are just as stuck in the system as we are.

*****You can replace patriarchy with kyriarchy and for every flavor of oppression there are bargains to be made. Lipstick lesbians are hot! Articulate brown people are cool!Disabled folks are fine as long as they are plucky lesson teachers or adorable telethon kids, etc, etc, etc. I’m not in the mood to do a “what about the menz” spiel, but they make bargains too.

The Kid and I are at the darling Sylvia’s to make a gazzilion Christmas cookies. Thank you, to everyone who reads this blog and chipped in over the last year. You all make me feel like George Bailey with a laundry basket of cash.

The Kid and I cracked up watching this. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Luke…….. There is no Santa!

Apparently Hollywood thinks that if you put anything female in a movie that isn’t all tits and ass- boys and men in the Kid’s demographic will run away screaming. It’s part of the reason the rebranded the fairy tale Rapunzel as Tangled and promos focus on the manly prince.

I told the Kid he was a mythical unicorn in Hollywood land because he likes stories that have kick ass protagonists, both male and female. He looked at me like I’d been doing drugs. So I conducted a little test. Here’s a list of the Kid’s favorite characters in some popular entertainment.

Harry Potter- hands down, Luna Lovegood. Not even a second of thought on that one.
Buffy- Zander followed closely by Evil Willow
Firefly- River Tam
Bones- Bones
Leverage- Parker and Haridson
Favorite series of books- Tamora Pierce, Protector of the Small

So my hetero teen boy, in a completely unscientific study, tends to prefer female protagonists. There are 2 dudes on that list (Zander and Hardison) and they come with female co-characters that he loves.

I’m not sure if my unicorn child actually exists now, since the purveyors of pop culture think he is imaginary. Though his dirty, crusty socks all over the floor tell me otherwise.

Kid and I both loved the awesome Hit Girl in Kick Ass. There may not be enough kick ass action hero women in film, but there are more and more kick ass action hero girls in film (see also the movie Let the Right One In).

In that vein- Kid and I must see this. Cate Blanchet as evil government agent. Kick ass girl child trained as an assassin. The preview looks sooooooooo good.

Kid says that The Hunger Games, which is also be made into a movie, was pretty good. So 2 movies we have to see.

I am one of those people. And since I am all about sharing just how hard this poverty shit is with you all, I am now going to break down my tiny income and taxes for you all. It’s a huge taboo in this country, to talk honestly about your own money. So you all might understand if I’m feeling a bit squeamish. It’s a bit of social programming I am trying to break.

Last year my adjusted gross income was $5963

My tax refund (including the earned income tax credit plus the $400 Making work pay credit, minus 15.2% in employment taxes for blogging income) was $1823

This year (so far) my income is $4930. If the schedule for the earned income tax credit stays the same (they haven’t published 2010 yet) then my refund is $1675 before I pay employment taxes. And because I am considered self-employed (like many of the disemployed who are selling whatever they’ve got in order to get by) I am responsible for all of those taxes.

So $1675-749 (15.2%of 4930) is $926. Or about half of 2009’s refund.

Now before anyone gets all cranky pants about how much of a refund I get compared to how tiny my income is- I would LOVE to be in a tax bracket where I am no longer eligible for the earned income tax credit. That bracket is $35,000 a year for a single parent with one kid. If you know of a job like that- pass it on.

Of course if I were in the Million plus club, the average tax benefit under the new tax plan is about $139,000, or enough to pay for 4 $35,000 jobs. But that’s not where it’s going to go, is it?

I have to see this!!!!

1) Aung San Suu Kyi!!! I am a sucker for political dramas. Burma, military juntas, activism and resistance. Yep.

2) Michelle Yeoh!!!! I think she’s the perfect choice to play Aung San Suu Kyi. She’s totally got the “I can still kick your ass when I’m broken hearted” thing down. And I love that.

3) directed by Luc Besson!!! (who did not sign the “it’s ok to rape children if you’re Polanski petition) Also directed the Professional.

This is going to rock, hard.

Some banksters aren’t getting a bonus in their Christmas stocking. Poor dears. Their salaries have been doubled in the past 2 years to compensate, but the poor “Zeros” are facing psychological trauma by receiving their ill gotten gains in their regular paychecks instead of the fat, end of year bonus checks.

My heart breaks. My soul is crushed in empathy. As a poor, homeless single mother, I know the pain of trying to live off $200,000 or $500,000 a year. Why we have had to settle on the standard trash can fire for warmth, instead of this high-end, designer trash can.

It’s the Christmas season. Can’t we all spare a moment to think of the banksters? Do they know it’s Christmas time at all if they aren’t getting their bonus checks?

(FWIW- I find this whole song terribly offensive. Why on earth would non-Christians know when Christmas is? Do you know when Ramadan is? Ah colonialism, happily spread by 80’s pop stars under the guise of charity)

Have you all played with Google’s word tracker thingy yet?

What is does is counts the number of instances a word is used in all the books Google currently has scanned from the last 108 years or so, and then delivers the percentages.

The chart of the words racism and sexism, for anyone playing oppression olympics. ( Ableism and kyriarchy are barely nudges if you include them as well, though homophobia gets a slightly smaller but similar curve to sexism). I find it very interesting that the more politics is written about, the less often corruption is. And perhaps some of our handwringing over dreadful poor people while ignoring that ever widening wealth divide has to do with how little the wealthy are actually written about?

So peeps, what words are you checking out?