Innocent Until Proven Guilty is a Privilege, Not a Right

So you all heard the the Supreme Court (of Douchebags) upheld the “Papers Please” section of Arizona’s anti-brown people law, right?

This and the drug testing of welfare recipients should be a slam dunk “uh uh, no fucking way, turn around and refund the dollars you used to take this to the court to the tax payers because it violates one of the most fundamental tenets of the Constitution” no go. It violates the idea that a person is innocent until proven guilty. But only for some people. My pale faced, blue eyed boy child would never be asked to prove he belongs in this country. Me, my black hair and eyes, olive skin and being just “exotic” looking enough to get asked the shitty “what are you?” question won’t be stepping foot in Arizona anytime soon. Also, Kid’s dad, an actual drug addict but a white dude, would never have to walk into a welfare office and piss in a cup to feed his kids (that is, if he was concerned at all about feeding his kids. Which 17 years of experience tells me otherwise).

How does it violate that whole innocent until proven guilty thing? It requires people, who the government has no proof other then being poor or brown, to prove they aren’t a criminal (this is leaving aside the whole racist idea that a persons mere existence is a crime depending on what side of an arbitrary line they are standing on) instead of making the government prove that a crime has taken place. Guilty until you prove you’re not. Until you pee in this cup and it comes back clean, you are a drug user who doesn’t deserve the same access to government programs that a middle class home owner taking the mortgage exemption on their taxes does. Guilty until you prove that you’re not of not being a “real Amurikan” unlike, say Sheriff Joe “Don’t hate me cause I get paid to be a racist by the state” Arpaio who looks like he keeps his skin so milky by wearing what my friend calls the KKK Snuggie (Thanks Anthony!)

While we’re on this whole guilty until your not kick, let’s not forget to mention New York’s stop frisk. It’s just for black and brown folks, according to the numbers. It doesn’t actually do much of what it’s stated purpose is, namely checking for weapons. I think the last number I read on it (and forgive me, I can’t remember where I read it) was that it takes some thing like 3000 stop and frisks to produce one weapon and something like 85% of those are non-white people getting touched by the slimy hands of New York’s finest. But if you are black or brown, you don’t get to say “Fuck you, you ain’t got no probable cause. I’m going home” cause you’ve just given the cops probable cause with the trying to leave schtick.

Now while I’m telling you all this, remember that crime rates have been dropping since the 70s. We have fewer crimes being committed while at the same time our prison rates have ballooned faster than the interest rate on an ARM. If people are committing fewer crimes, where the fuckity fuck is the prison population coming from? Mandatory drug testing? Stop and frisks? Papers Please? These are the newer laws but think about people in some states who get sent to jail for driving without insurance. GA, if I remember correctly, will put out an arrest warrant if they get a letter from your insurance company saying your coverage has been cancelled. You don’t get notified of the warrant. Maybe you just switched policies because you like the Geico lizard. Won’t know about the warrant until you get pulled over for speeding and WHAMO jail for you.

Innocent until proven guilty is not a reality for large swaths of the people in this country. It’s a privilege. If you think otherwise, you probably haven’t been stopped for driving while black.

Household Budgeting

Kid and I are dramatically better off now than we were a year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago. But that doesn’t mean we’ve joined the ranks of the middling middles. This is what the budget of a super thrifty, lucky small family looks like.

I make almost 200% of the 2012 poverty guidelines before taxes, etc. Of course Seattle is a bit more expensive than some small town in a red state. I do not make what is considered to be a living wage in Washington state.

My largest monthly expense is rent. I live in what would be called a rent stabilized building, so I actually pay about what is calculated in that chart for a 2 bedroom apartment. I’ve been doing some searching for a friend who is looking for a place and I am seeing rents nearly double what I pay for a 2 bedroom. Rooms in shared housing go for what I pay in rent. The trade off is that we have tiny tiny bedrooms and my laundry gets swiped out of the laundry room pretty frequently. I pay about 38% of my income in housing.

The next biggest expense I have is healthcare. I have awesome healthcare. It covers damn near everything. But it ain’t cheap. My employer pays the entire premium cost for me (about $1200 per month) but I pay to have the Kid on the plan. ($440 per month). Then there’s prescriptions, co-pays, deductibles, co-insurance, etc. All in all I pay about $650 a month, or about 27% of my income.

That’s 65% of my total gross income.

The next biggest expense is food. I have a teenage boy. In my best budgeting months, I spend about $500 on groceries. When I am less careful and we eat takeout, I spend more. But we’ll pretend I am a perfect human being who never screws up the budget by ordering takeout 3 nights in a row. So let’s call food 20% of the budget.

Taxes are another 10%.

Transportation is about 4%. So is my cell phone. Kid’s cell phone and home internet are about  3%.

That’s 106%.

It is only possible for us to live IF I get child support. That’s where the extra 6% plus clothes, entertainment, etc. comes from. And in the months that we don’t get child support, the tiny savings account I funded with my tax return gets hit. It’s only June and I’ve already blown through 3/4s of it.

But I’m lucky. I have a full time job with benefits. I live in affordable housing. I have a cheap, short commute on public transportation so I don’t need a car. I have a boyfriend who doesn’t mind that I pay what I can when we go out (which isn’t much. Our last trip to Canada cost me $30) so I am not devoid of joy and fun.

But I’ll never be able to retire, or move, or help the Kid pay for college. Or get him the braces he desperately needs, or fix my own teeth. 

I live in fear of premium increases, rent increases, cost of food going up, unemployment, loss of health insurance, working until I die at my desk.

If my wages kept up with productivity, I’d be making over 50k. If I got a living wage, I wouldn’t have to blow through my savings when child support didn’t come. I might even be able to increase my savings account balance. If there was a living wage law and I got paid at the same percentage above minimum wage that I get now, I’d make $52,000 a year. That’s retirement/braces/savings account/ college/ etc.

That’s where it all goes, and that what is missing.

Oh, that’s where it all went.

Sociological Images has this awesome graph that shows the difference between increased productivity and wages

You know what that gap is, right? That 141 percent gap between wages and productivity?

That’s living wages, healthcare, retirement, paid time off. That’s enough jobs for every one of we distributed the work load in a manner that reflects HOW MUCH MORE WE DO THAN OUR PARENTS DID.

So one again I ask the question, how come it’s never shared prosperity? 

And then the left side of my face fell off

Not literally. But lemme tell you how motherfucking tired I am of my stupid body. I mean tired y’all. I swear to fucking god I have no desire to have one more conversation with my doctor that starts with “So there’s this one weird thing….” Every fucking doctor’s appointment, one weird thing. My girly bits are shaped like a nautilus and are trying to kill me through anemia. My nervous system has decided to fuck right the fuck off and BAM!Fibro! and now I can no longer feel the left side of my face. Neat.

It’s not a stroke. It’s not Bell’s Palsy. It doesn’t fucking help that if one were to google the myriad of strange symptoms I keep having you end up with the unholy trinity of lupus, fibro, MS. Nope, no help at all.

I most certainly didn’t end up at a bar with my girlfriends last week freaked out that this new face problem means that eventually I will be unable to wipe my own ass (THANK YOU MS. J for promising to wipe it for me if it comes to that. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING HARD YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW).

What I have is trigeminal neuralgia. That’s in addition to the fibro bullshit. And the only reason I am not curled on the ground screaming is because 2 of the meds I take for fibro are part of the treatment for what is so nicely called “Suicide Pain”, because 90 percent of the fatalities from this affliction are self-induced. Fuck this shit. Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it.  I have a migraine in my face that never goes away and am already doing what I am supposed to be doing to treat it. (And of fucking course it may be related to MS, SHUT UP DR. WIKIPEDIA, SHUT UP!).

So I have been extra fucking pleasant today. And yesterday. And I will probably be super fucking pleasant tomorrow. But I HAVE A MIGRAINE IN MY FACE! I DON’T HAVE TO BE PLEASANT. Also I can no longer tell if my coffee is too hot because my face is numb and I keep burning my mouth.

I DEMAND A CYBORG BODY!

This is now officially the Lizzie whines about her health blog. If you were coming here expecting wit, charm, pithy insights, or anything other than the giant whingefest that you have just been subjected to, then boo hoo for you.