Gidget Commando sent me this awesome link the other day.

Here’s the thing I don’t get.

Biology (supposedly) says that males are indiscriminate. They need to spread their dna as wide as possible to make sure that some hapless female somewhere will raise their babies.

Females, on the other hand, are supposed to be choosy. We wouldn’t want to waste a huge amount of time and energy raising loser babies.

This is how you end up with peacocks and lions with pretty manes.

But if that set up is true for humans, then why is it women that are the ones wearing frilly clothes and makeup and undergoing plastic surgery and a lifetime of dieting malnutrition to attract a mate?

And here’s where the heat wave comes in.

It’s 100 degrees here. I’ve given up on wearing bras or shirts that aren’t tank tops. One more layer of fabric would probably kill me. And I have big, socially unacceptable unless they are properly harnessed, boobs. I could shower, but 10 minutes after I’m covered in sweat, so hygiene is mostly accomplished by rinsing my head with a garden hose. Deodorant is a waste of time and money since I can’t roll around naked in it to cool off. Make-up would just slide down my face like melty black ice cream and the heat has caused me to break out like so I have a zit on my nose that makes me resemble Rudolf. And I haven’t shaved anything in quite awhile cause razor burn- heat rash sounds like some new fresh torture that I don’t wanna try.

So I’m looking (and smelling) my best and I run into one of the old stable boys in the grocery store parking lot. I haven’t seen him in at least a year. He tells me that he’s been reading some of the stuff that I guest posted at Change.org and loves it. And then asks when we can see each other again. And then texts me later to see if I can hang out now (it’s too darn hot, thank you Cole Porter).

All this does is confuse me. If people function in the males just wanna spread their seed mode, then I could be a fat, smelly, braless, hairy beast and still get the guy. But…………….

Then why do i own lipstick and high heels and hair product and perfume and a razor?

And why don’t guys own those things?