Or more inappropriate conversations with the Kid

Last night, coming home on the insanely hot bus. Kid gets the window seat and then proceeds to do the dudely spread leg sitting position that pisses off female mass transit riders world wide.

I asked, repeatedly and nicely, for him to scoot over so that I’m not falling in the aisle. It works for a minute, then he forgets.

I’m hot, I’m cranky, I’ve lost my patience.

“Okay kid, either you sit nice and share the seat or I get the window side”.

That doesn’t work.

So I broke it down and told him the truth.

“The only people who get to sit like that are guys with watermelon sized private parts. Guys who sit like that and aren’t packing a watermelon just piss off women. We all know that sitting all spread eagle is a cover up for tiny bits”.

That worked.