So there is this student, very young, very sweet, kinda typical 19 year old every dude. He has a wee bit of a crush on me (he’s too young, they have to be old enough to buy vodka) but he’s not obnoxious about his little crush. He’s just mostly sweet and dumb in the way that 19 year olds are.

So yesterday he was in my lab and just had to show me this fabulous comic he just saw. It was of an older woman in a bikini who had been catching some rays and because her gross droopy old boobies were sagging she had a stupid tan line. Yeah, I can hear you all laughing at that one. Hahahahahaha. Old women should know that if they aren’t hot sex bots they should cover up and stay home. Sooooooooooo funny and completely original. Nobody ever makes fun of women for not being super fuckable all the time.

I didn’t laugh. I didn’t do that thing we do when we’re stuck in uncomfortable situations with douchebags where we fake laugh kinda just to get out of the situation. I just said “that’s incredibly sexist” and went back to work. I could see that what was about to come out of his mouth was “come on, it’s just a joke” but I think he stopped himself at “co”.

So thanks patriarchy, you just took a perfectly sweet dude and turned him into a douchebag.

(Not exactly off topic- but has anyone seen the video for Eminem’s We Made You? I know it’s like shooting fish in a barrel to point out his rampant woman hate- but EVERY SINGLE PERSON he picks on in that video is a woman except for Brett Michaels. For a dude so full of anxious masculinity, I find it totally cowardly and unoriginal that he doesn’t go after fellow rappers or anyone who could actually kick his ass, but he goes after the already brutalized. Wow tough guy, way to prove your street cred)