A letter sent to Dan Savage at the Stranger (yes- Savage is a doochenozzle):

I was wondering if you or any of your readers could exaplin why so many women are so defensive with compliments.

I’ve on several occasions been at the store and have seen some very nice looking women of all size, shapes, color, age, I think you get what I’m so meaning, and I’ve said to them you have great hips, or other tastefully ways of complimenting them and it seems that a lot of them are offended by it. Now I’m a guy who really likes women, Period, I’m happily married 30 yrs. And my wife and I both flirt and expect it to go no further and if it is invited by the one flirted to we kindly decline as has happened only once to each of us and we flirt even when with each other. We mean no harm in this and we feel if someone is looking at the one your with they must be pretty good + you should be happy about it. We have often complimented the same sex as we are and see nothing wrong with it but it’s all the same.

If anyone can answer this it would be appreciated. Enjoy your work.

Roy

Here’s the thing Roy, women were not put on earth for you to oggle. Our sole reason for existence is not to be fucked. Actually, we spend a whole shitload of our lives doing other things.

So when you go out of your way to creepily leer at some woman and then get offended when she thinks you’re a misogynistic asswipe for “complimenting” her by letting her know exactly which part of her body you are going to use for wank fodder later, you’re the wrong one. Not the woman who is acting rationally to a strange dude turning her into body parts to rub one out to.

And this holds true to you fuckwads who think you are being friendly when you tell women you don’t know to “smile”. I have a very carefully crafted, stompy city girl walk and scowl that I do JUST so I don’t accidentally encourage unwanted attention from every shitface on the street who wants to comment on my tits or ass. I am not smiling because I don’t want you to think that I like you. It’s a conscious thing, my not smiling.

I have never, not even once, gone out with, flirted with, or given my number to, a random wankstain who thought that “complimenting” me as a stranger was the way to my heart. I don’t know any women who have. So let’s end that little fallacy now. “Complimenting” strange women is viewed by most of us as the threatening behavior of a dude who wants to wear our skin later. So stop it.