Between this commercial at Shakes
I think that people (boys) may have the absolute wrong idea about how to go about the random hook up/ one night stand.
Here’s a hint- girl’s like sex. Girl’s like honesty. Girl’s don’t need to be played, coerced or tricked into getting naked. If you have to use trickery to get a girl into bed, you’re not really a Casanova. You’re a junior date rapist.
So how do you go about it without being a candidate for Mr. Biggest Asshole in the World?
1. Be yourself. You don’t need tricks and tips from pick up artists. A sweet, shy geek is way more attractive than a slimy dude with cheesy lines.
2. Be confident. And real confidence is being able to take rejection without turning into a weasel. Someone not responding the way you’d like to your advances does not mean you should keep trying, or should pull out a neg(ative compliment), or become insulting. That just makes you look like a desperate loser. You may not be the guy she wants, but if you don’t act like a douche then she won’t tell everyone she knows that you acted like a douche. And we do talk about that kind of stuff.
3. Be honest about what you want. If you just want a one night stand or a fuck buddy, be upfront about it. There’s no shame in it. And if you are straight up from the beginning then you give her the information to make a rational choice. We all prefer to make our choices with all the information.
4. Sometimes you don’t know if the person you’re with is someone you want to be in a relationship with, or someone you just want to have fun with. This is called DATING. It is not new. You have a responsibility to let the other person know once you’ve figured it out though. Not letting them know makes you a douche and keeps information from them that helps them make a rational choice.
5. You’ll notice that a lot of the point above involve the words information, rational, and choice. We like to think that sex is all about loins and hearts, but the brain is the biggest sexual organ there is. And the brain likes all the information so it can make a rational choice about what it wants. Choice folks. You want someone to choose to be with you, whether that is for a night or a longer.
See- that’s not so hard. Be yourself, be honest, be confident enough to take rejection. Not hard. Really.
And as Pidomon knows, the real way to a girl’s heart is knife skills, feminism and yogurt. 😉