I’m sure y’all have heard the internet brouhaha about douchebag Tosh and his army of rape apologists getting their cranky on because people have (rightly) called them out on their shit.

And a ton has been written about how to tell a rape joke that is actually funny (prolly NSFW link unless you have headphones) instead of gross and played out and gross. And BORING. Seriously, like in the course of a few thousand years of misogyny do you really think there is some new, fresh take on “and then she didn’t want to have sex with me so I raped her” jokes.

And pleas have been made to think of the huge numbers of victims out there that are gonna get smacked in the face with horror just so you can have a laugh. “Get over it, it’s just a joke ladies, hahahhahhaa.” If these shitfaces had an ounce of human compassion we wouldn’t have to explain why that shit is damaging and hurtful.

These are solid points. Yay for other people making them. But none of that is gonna get the apologists to change their minds and suddenly give us hope for humanity. I mean, come on. These are apologists for rapists.

And it all reminds me of the douchecanoes who like to wear Confederate flag t-shirts because “It’s part of my heritage” and by heritage they mean they wish they owned a big old plantation where they could beat the hell out of black folks just like Great Grandaddy did. They are racists, of that there is no doubt. And they are upset that they are getting called out for being racists. They are defending slavery and bigotry as a piece of their heritage. They want to be on the LOSING SIDE OF HISTORY and not be given shit for it.

And the “It’s just a joke. It’s comedy” folks are rape apologists on the LOSING SIDE OF HISTORY. They are defending rapists in the name of humor. And I pretty much assume that any dude who defends rape jokes is just like that guy who defends the wrong flag. He’s the guy who wishes he could just rape the bitches whenever he wants, but us humorless feminists keep him from doing just that because of misandry. (Nope, that sentence doesn’t make sense. Misogyny, like racism, is ridiculous and doesn’t make sense.)

So fuck ’em. We know the flag-wavers are racist. We know the joke-defenders are misogynistic rape apologists. (And as I said on ye old twitter yesterday- it’s obvious the douchebags know rape isn’t a joke when it’s their go to retaliation threat. ) If they want to spend their brainspace trying come up with Every. Single. Damn. Excuse in the motherfucking book to contort the fact that they side with the rapists, then whoopee for them. Exactly zero fucks will be given by me. Because they have chosen the wrong side, I don’t have to give them any benefit of the doubt.

When you defend the Confederate flag as a symbol of your heritage, you’re defending racism. Full stop.
When you defend rape jokes as edgy, free-speech humor, you’re defending rapists. Full stop. It doesn’t matter why you’re defending it. Unless someone is holding a literal gun to your head forcing you to laugh at old Andrew Dice Clay routines while wrapped in a collectible Southern Cross fleece throw, your reasons don’t mean shit.

Make all the excuses that you want. Twist yourself into a pretzel trying to find some once of logic in your reasoning. You’ve shown me who you are and who you are is a giant fucking LOSER. But don’t worry, there are a lot of losers in the world. You won’t be lonely, but you’ll still be gross. AND BORING. DON’T FORGET HOW FUCKING BORING.