It’s 15 years in the future and my darling son is 28. After much debt and financial struggle, I have managed to get him through both college and grad school so he can be a forensic anthropologist (which is what he wants to be). He’s just started out in the work world when he comes to me and says:

“Mom, I have decided I am going to give up my career to do a job that most people get paid minimum wage for, but I am going to do it for free. I will have no money of my own, no unemployment insurance. I will be earning nothing towards a pension or social security. I will have no days off, paid or unpaid. I will be completely dependent on the good will and job skills of another person. During this time I will be gaining no experience relevant to my education and my skills regarding that education will become quickly out of date through lack of use and on the job learning. But I hope that you will support my decision”

Of course I would say “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Yet, when women do this, we are supposed to give them support and understanding for making the choice to sacrifice their own improvement and independence.

Nope. Not buying it. No one gets a freaking pat on the head for deciding that a life of dependence is right for them. And no one gets a pat on the head for doing something for free and thereby devaluing the the efforts of those who need to get paid for it.

Not every choice a woman makes is a feminist choice. Not every choice a woman makes should be blindly supported.