So I am off for my adventure in gay Paree. I’ll be back in a week with a suitcase full of french porn and wine (won’t customs have a blast with that?) and hopefully some kick ass pictures, funny stories, and a completely condescending attitude towards food.

Chang’e and Wonder will be holding down the fort. They know that like all teenagers they are not supposed to have a party while I’m away, but that’s because what’s a party with a queen hitting a beer bong?

In the mean time, lemme just say this.

You peeps are so sweet, I could microwave you all.