I feel as much enthusiasm for the 4th of July as I feel for Mother’s day. If I had my wish, I would spend every Independence day in another country, but alas, my financial situation leaves me here today.

July 4th is a day where people who spend the rest of the year not doing a damn thing to improve our country whip out flags and declare their American exceptionalism for all the world to see. It’s embarrassing and misleading. It’s a groundswell of sentimentality and false pride. It’s a day when I see the worst of American attitudes shot through the air like the firecrackers that will blast tonight.

Patriotism is not a flag decal on your car, or a barbeque with your friends. It is not a well-timed fireworks display set to pro-American music. It is not supporting a criminal who happens to be your president no matter what. It is not ignoring the lowest of our citizenry, those who have the American dream but no way to access it, or spewing hate about those who are not citizens but want to be. But that’s what we celebrate as patriotism today.

Real patriotism, the kind that Jefferson, my favorite of the founding fathers, knew about means struggle. It means holding your government accountable. It means striving for those inalienable rights that all men people are endowed with, regardless of what their citizenship is.

Patriotism means supporting our troops by bringing them home. I had this discussion with a marine a few weeks ago. He gave the standard line about how his job is to fight to the death to defend my rights to freedom. I told him that since our troops job is to fight the wars we send them on without question, it is my duty to make sure that those wars are only fought for a justifiable and unavoidable reason.

We, the people of the United States, have a duty to make sure that any wars fought on our behalf are just. We have the responsibility of ensuring that the leaders who declare war, who send troops into harms way are doing it for the right reason with a solid plan. That is the pact we have with every single soldier. We know that they will risk their lives for us without question, so we need to ask the questions for them.

We like to think about the things that our country gives us, like freedom of speech or the right to bear arms. We rarely think about what our obligations as part of this country are. We may think they are limited to things like voting or paying taxes. The least of us can do those things, but we are supposed to do more than that. I don’t think a fireworks display fulfills those obligations.

I love the idea of this country. I love the potential our country has for greatness. I believe with every idealistic inch of my soul that we can create a society based on fairness and equality and I am willing to do the hard work to get there. That is patriotism. What we have instead is nationalism masquerading as patriotism, blind obedience to authority, big showy displays of national feeling, and unquestioning belief that America is great without opening our eyes to the very not great reality around us.