I’m doing research on a new college grant that Bush instituted for critical math, science and language programs. It’s an extra $4000 a year for college juniors and seniors, and I could use the money. Besides, I’m bored studying political science (turns out there are really only 2 philosophies in the end) and learning a new language would make me a happy camper.

The deal is this- you study a critical area, they pay you. With the languages it’s pretty obvious why they picked the ones they did to call them critical. You have the languages of the places we are currently or soon to be at war with (Arabic, Farsi, Urdu) as well as the languages the BRIC countries (fastest growing emerging economies) Brazil, Russia, India and China. There are also grants for African and other Asian languages.

So I’m searching ye olde web and come across this program at UConn that has been funded by the Defense Department. It’s actually a really cool program to fund, giving students laptops and access to native speakers to increase their fluency.

But why is Haitian Creole on the list? It’s a language spoken by only 12 million people (compared to 220 million Portuguese speakers). Despite Haiti’s violent history (and present) it is not a military threat to the US. It is not an emerging economy, in fact it is the poorest country in the western hemisphere with poverty rates more in line with sub-saharan Africa. And, most of the people who speak Creole also speak French, a decidedly non-critical language (us Americans with our disdain for multi-lingualism don’t seem to have a problem taking a high school French or Spanish class).

What gives?

I should admit that I have a huge soft spot for Haiti. It is one of the 3 countries to have a successful democratic revolution in the 18th century. The other two were the US and France. We were instrumental in ousting Aristide (both times). The last time was when he was about to raise the minimum wage. Companies like Disney who had been getting their souvenier t-shirts made for cheap didn’t like the idea of having to pay reasonable wages. But that kind of stuff happens all the time. None of the Maya languages of Chiapas are on the program even though there are continuing struggles by the Zapatistas for land reform and an end to NAFTA (I should post some of the Zapatista propaganda photos I took and tell you all about the eljido tax- but that’s off topic).

So my little paranoid brain is tying to figure out why the defense department might need American citizens who can speak Haitian Creole. First person with a sensible theory gets a lip smacky kiss.

PS: I was looking for programs in Portuguese in a place where I might want to live, like say the Bay Area (has nothing to do with the boy who is making me grin, really;) and they are virtually non-existent. Which means I either have to study Russian or risk life and limb learning Farsi. I guess all I’ve got to say about that is “Dosvedanya comrades”.