So I went back to work today after not having worked since July 12th. I have been an absolute hermit for the last month, which means I have cut off the stable boys, everyone of them. It doesn’t help that for some odd reason the last month has been married guy stalker season on my telephone. It seems like every guy I dated in the last four years who then got married has decided that calling my house repeatedly at all hours of the day and night is ok. It would be one thing if it was just one boy- but the fact that they are multiples is enough to drive a girl to hide under her covers for a while. (And if you’re reading this and wondering if I mean you then I probably do).

But this post is about coming out from under the covers, which means that Your Royal Highness has reinstituted the stable. This time though, I’m sticking with the foreign boys. I figure if I can’t afford to travel right now and rack up stamps on my passport, I can rack up countries in a different way. I seem to be a favorite of French engineers at the moment (who knew) and Italian bankers (this is not news- Italians have always thought I was sliced bread). There’s also a Romanian photographer, an Australian tech guru and a German of undetermined profession. I’ve always been a bit of a globalist when it comes to dating (the continents of South America and Asia being dotted with enough of my flags to seem like I am attempting some sort of British empire via lust and coffee dates) and it was time to fill in the European gaps.

I know there should be a political theme to this, but no. I’m just braggin’- goes with the ego the size of Texas thing.

But onto something that is political.

In the years that Junior Dipshit has been preznit I have seen my income decrease by 30% Every. Single. Year. No shit. There is only one upside to my lowly economic status. I don’t pay taxes. As a matter of fact, I get money back that I didn’t pay in. I also get money for schooling and housing and healthcare, not enough to make me comfortable but enough to keep a roof over the royal compound that is not made out of a giant refrigerator box.

I could feel bad about my government sponging and you could tell me to feel bad about it. However, if I was Donald Trump taking advantage of tax breaks and government subsidies it would be considered good business by the same people who think that making sure a family has food on the table is a crime against all things American.

I don’t feel bad, and even worse I consider it my patriotic duty to use as many tax dollars as possible. Every dollar I get is a dollar not being spent in Iraq or Afghanistan. It’s a dollar not spent setting illegal wiretaps or promoting false “family values”. It’s a dollar that is not perpetuating death in Africa by limiting Aids education to abstinence.

And now that Congress has made a deal legitimizing torture as an acceptable practice, it’s a dollar not spent justifying torture.

Be a patriot- Collect Welfare!