Oh look, another sex scandal to keep us all from focusing on the actual important business of the country.

You know, mostly I don’t give a shit about who a (almost universally male) politician sleeps with, as long as they are above age and not a subordinate and it doesn’t fuck with their job of governing. It’s funny (not haha) when it’s a Republifucker who’s been spouting faux family values/homophobia shit, but really their sex lives aren’t at all relevant to my life. Though, when a lefty fucks up, it would be nice if they didn’t let their very important message hit the floor with their pants (like you John Edwards and your two Americas, and you Elliot Spitzer and Wall Street reform). And the ubiquity of these scandals, oh the fucking ubiquity.

I am tired of these over-entitled douchebags in tacky blue suits who can’t seem to go without sending crotch shots or knocking up their employees in exchange for getting access to a whole fuck of a lot more power and influence than the rest of us will ever be close to. If you want to be That Guy, go work on Wall Street and snort coke off the ass of whatever young coed (male or female) wants to take your “scholarship” money in exchange for naked party time. But stay the fuck out of politics. In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve got 4 wars going on and a huge population of broke, unemployed, hungry and homeless or about to be foreclosed on people who would like pols with a tiny bit of impulse control running our fucking country. For all the jokes they make about a woman deciding to hit the red button because of pms, I would like to flip the switch and say you tacky fuckers probably can’t be trusted near the Oval Office because you might hit the button while whipping out your schlong to take a cell phone pic for HawTGRL23.

Enough is enough. Pull your damn pants up, all of you, and do some fucking work. That’s what we’re paying you for.