Adam Yauch is dead. And I feel fucking old today.

I like to tell people that when I was about 13 I found a Ramones tape in my driveway and gave up on the crappy tween pop (New Kid’s on the Block, Debbie Gibson, you all remember that shit) that had been corroding my brain. And that’s true.

But a year or so before I found that tape, I heard the Beastie Boys. Same year I got my first period. I heard other, slightly older kids singing Paul Revere and learned the words long before I ever heard the actual song. Then at my first dance, at a tiny middle school with a 6th grade class of fewer than 50 kids, a class so small that our entire dance could be held in a classroom instead of the gym, I head the actual music of the Beasties blaring out of an old school ghetto blaster. Then, of course, one of the teachers ran over to shut it off because “THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE!!!”

7 years later, I was in the mosh pit when the Beastie Boys played Lollapaloza while 4 months up the stick with the Kid. Responsible parenting, prolly not. But I was 19 and knocked up and all elbows and mama lion energy. And it was the Beasties. I couldn’t not be in the middle of it. Despite being a giant festival show, it remains one of my favorite concert experience. After getting all the standing ovations ever and finally leaving the stage, Billy Corrigan came out and threw an absolute tantrum because “All you fuckers just want the Beastie Boys to come back out again”. He was right (and fuck you Smashing Pumpkins!!! I’ve seen you more times than any other band and I HATE YOU!!!)

And now I am old enough that the idols of my youth are dying not (just) from a hard life of drug use and partying, but from cancer.  Fuck mortality. Fuck grey hairs and stiff joints and credit ratings and insurance deductibles.

This is from my favorite Beastie Boys album. I know the fucking music snobs are all “Paul’s Boutique 4lyfe!” But whatever, this album has more pop culture references than every Joss Whedon product combined.  And the videos are amazing. So kick off your shoes and relax your socks.