Tonight, to make up for having been out of town on my birthday, my
friend Amanda took me to a gorgeous dinner (rabbit caccitore with
riccotta gnocchi) and then to the symphony. Amanda is blind and
travels everywhere with Winnie, the bestest, most awesomest dog ever.
In movies, Amanda usually has someone quietly narrate the whole thing
to her, but for concerts she just needed me to quietly point out
things she would find interesting, like that the amazing guest
violinist was wearing flip flops and toe rings under her long formal
dress, or that almost every single male bass player was mr. clean
style bald (there were 6 of them, it was unusual) I only whispered a
handful of things to Amanda. No more the 4 sentences in the course of
2 hours. We were in accesible seating with the dog. You all know
what’s coming, right? Of course the douchebag in front of us, who
nearly stepped on the dog, shushed me. The dog, who again is the best
ever, then proceeded to fart at the douchenoodle, more than once. Good
dog.