I’m a lefty, not just politically. I am severely left-handed. I joke that my right hand is vestigial.

So of course it’s always my left hand that gets injured. Tonight I managed to cover it in scalding oil while making yet another round of pork chops. The Kid finished cooking and I’ve had my hand wrapped up in a frozen towel for hours now. Everytime I let the hand get near room temp the pain is excruciating. I made a ‘put your hand in the box young Atriedes’ joke that went totally over the Kid’s head. I’m typing this one-handed, and not in the fun way.

The last time I burnt myself this badly I had whiskey and valium. Now all I can do is repeat “fear is the mind killer” and pretend the 5 advil I took will actually do something.