if during any of the gasbagging going on as part of the War on Women! why no one has asked if Newt and Calista used birth control when they were fucking behind Newt’s wife’s back? Or did he just pull out and spooge allover. He seems like the type to make a mess and leave a lady to clean it up.

Or maybe he had a vasectomy? How did that go over when he converted to Catholicism? Would he have to get it reversed because every sperm is sacred?

Has anyone asked Mrs. Frothy Mix if she used birth control with the guy she was living with before Mr. Frothy Mix? You know, that guy who performed abortions for a living? Did she have to convert to Catholicism to become Mrs. Frothy, or was she lapsed? If she was lapsed, why wasn’t she excommunicated for fornicating with an evil-doer in the eyes of the church?

And the Romney’s- well they’ve been married for fucking ever. But their last child was born when Mrs. Romney was only 31. Now granted, 5 kids in 11 years is a fuck of a lot of kids in a short time span and I wouldn’t want to keep popping ’em out, but last I checked, ladies don’t normally stop being fertile at 31. (I’m fucking 36 and it worries the fuck out of me that I might end up preggo even though I haven’t missed a single pill in 7 fucking months straight.) So how did Mrs. Romney get blessed with super-fertility for the first 11 years of marriage and then no fertility for the last 30 years? Even menopause only knocks off a decade or 2.

The point to all this speculation about the family planning practices choices of a bunch of slimeballs in tacky blue suits and their other halves is that they are all GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITES when it comes to dictating what choices the rest of us have available.

And truth is, I don’t really give a flying fuck how they prevented pregnancy, or didn’t prevent pregnancy, or what their fucking church has to say to them about family planning. But they sure as fuck are invested in getting to browbeat me with some fake book their skyfairy allegedly dictated when it comes to my choice. And if I have to listen to their shitty sermons (and pay out of pocket when it comes to birth control or abortion, even though I have kickass health insurance because their godbag says “ewe lady parts groooody to the max”) then their own practices are up for debate. Don’t want to admit that you used some kind of birth control, then don’t take the ability to use some kind of birth control away from others.