Are y’all ready for some fucking Christmas cheer? Are your eggs nogged? Gifts wrapped? Do you need some inspiration because you have 9 dozen cookies to bake and wrap into adorable gift baskets in the next 32 hours and they have to look and taste fucking awesome because their for your boyfriend’s family who you haven’t met yet? And OMG you still have presents to wrap and laundry to do and packing and a real job and and and and and.

What you (I) need is some inspiration ( or a nice Valium Adderal cocktail) so here is some music to get through the holidays with.

My favorite all time Christmas song (it has nothing to do with my dysfunctional childhood at all. NOOOOOOOO. It has absolutely nothing to do with the screaming tantrums thrown by the only adult member of the family when holiday pressures inevitably got to be too much. NOOOOOOO. Stop head shrinking)is The Ramones- Merry Christmas (I don’t want to fight tonight with you)

It’s just not Christmas without the Waitresses

Or the Kinks

Or Erasure

Or XTC

I used to include the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York in this list. I mean common, Kristy MacColl sings on it. But there is a homophobic slur right in the middle of the song that jolts me every time I hear it. And if I won’t let people make excuses for the stupid racism in Breakfast at Tiffany’s then I really can’t let homophobia slide even if I love the dead singer of the song super hard. So no more.

Now the worst Christmas song ever, hands down, is Do They Know It’s Christmas. That colonial sack of bullshit- ugh. Boyfriend and I were in the grocery store last night and I pointed out that song was playing. His response was “Oh is that why I suddenly feel sad and angry all at once?” (That dear readers, is one of the reasons why I love him.) Anyways- enjoy this hilarious line by line take down of the song.

Your turn- hit me with your Christmas songs, best and worst.