The Kid is a dork, a video game playing, fantasy book reading, dungeons and dragons dork.

I am fine with this. I was a popular, non-dorky teenager. It benefited me very little in the real world (except that home was so bad- I figured the universe was giving me a break by making school and friends easier).

But it does mean I get to have a lot of uncomfortable discussions about how video games perpetuate racism and sexism in the real world.

Example #1:

Kid flops into a chair and sighs.

Me: What up dude?

Kid: I just died in my game. I have to go back and start ALL OVER.

Me: Sorry monkey.

Kid: Next time though, I’m going to play as a girl. Girls have it easier in the game.

Me: Oh really. How do girls have it easier?

Kid: Well there is this guy that steals your car, and you have to pay him a lot of money if you want it back. But if you’re a girl, you can uhm, uh, have sex with him and get your car back.

Me: You do realize that is not having sex right. You realize that is rape. He’s forcing her to have sex with him.

Kid: Yes. (slinks off).

Me: you know we are going to have to finish this discussion at some point.

Kid: Yes.

Example 2:

Kid: So in this game, this guy gets a rash on his little tribal

Me: You mean his junior member?

Kid: Yeah, but he calls it his little tribal

(conversation goes on about all the many euphemism for penis)

Kid: so the guy goes to the doctor in the game. And the doctor performs some painful test and then tells the guy that he needs to use this cream to clear it up. But the guy, Nanuk, doesn’t trust the doctor because the doctor hurt him, so he decided to use a witch doctor’s cure instead and covers his little tribal in oil and lights it on fire.

Me: Oh dude, that’s horrible.

Kid: I know

Me: and it’s also racist.

Kid: Oh no- in the game there are no races, just tribes.

Me: Something can be not racist inside the game, but it is racist outside the game. Remember that thing about the girl and the car thief?

Kid: Yes.

Me: You know that same thing happened to me in real life. It didn’t feel like “Oh bonus! I get my shit back and all I have to do is fuck this asshole”.

Kid: what happened?

Me: Well we were in the middle of moving. I gave all my money to this guy with a truck to move our stuff for us. He got everything we owned into the truck, then backed me into a corner and said to either give him more money or fuck him.

Kid: What did you do?

Me: Well I used you as an excuse. I told him I couldn’t with you there, and for him just to wait until later. Fortunately I knew where his mom lived, and when i told her that he had all my stuff, she got mad and laid into him. If it hadn’t been for her, you wouldn’t have any of your baby pictures.

I don’t want to ban you from playing video games. I don’t think that would help.
But I do want you to see this stuff. I want you to understand what happens in real life when you treat someone as dumb for being tribal or treat rape as sex. I want you to recognize it when you see it.

Kid: I get it. What’s inside the game isn’t what’s outside the game.

Me: Well that’s a start.