Author Archives: Wonder

Stand there in your wrongness and be wrong.

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A post over on feministe about the flooding in Mexico has sparked quite a bit of anger at brownfemipower . Well, not the post itself, but rather, the insensitivity and ignorance of the (mostly-white?) commenters, especially the first few.

Being somewhat new to feminism as a current (rather than historical) “thing” I’ve been reading a bit lately. on various blogs, including the Women of Color Blog. So I was a bit more prepared to hear what she had to say on this topic than I would have been a week ago. See, it seems that many non-white feminists have a lot to say about white feminists. And it’s not all “hey what a great job you’re doing promoting equality for everyone” It’s more like “Hey you’re really fucked up and NOT promoting equality for everyone!” It’s more like “You’re really biased and you just can’t see it!”

And you know what?

They’re right.

And I’m just as guilty as anyone. One of my first comments on Red’s post about the floods was an idiotic attempt to make a humorous connection between this tragedy and the immigration discussion we were having earlier. Mercifully, it was removed from the page in a matter of minutes by either Red, The Almighty, or Teh Internet Gremlins. Or Deek. He hasn’t posted in a while, but I’m sure he’s still got edit-power, and hates this kind of bullshit.

And I’m thankful, because it was offensive, and I never should have said it. It was offensive because people are dying, and I used it as an opportunity to make a joke. From safe in the heart of “white america,” I made a joke. not an overtly racist joke, but the fact that I, in a position of unearned privilege took advantage of that privilege to show how witty i’m not, reeks of racism.

And that is WRONG.

  • Nearly a million people homeless, and we giggle over “Tabasco”.
  • I can’t find a number on how many dead, and we excuse ourselves with “class, not race” as if the two bear no connection, and white people don’t benefit economically from the color of our skin.
  • Our government offers the insult of 3oo,000 crumbs off our table for relief, while spending millions(billions?) on a “border fence” and military aid to fight a phantom “drug war” and we try to prove how clever we are.(my mercifully deleted comment)
  • The Mainsteam US Media largely ignores the tragedy, and we quibble over whether the CA fires can be compared to Katrina

And then we go over there and reply to brownfemipower’s post with our “oh-no-i’m- embarassed-to-be-white*- we’re-not-all-like-that-please-don’t-hate-us-all” hand-wringing.

To Which she says:

brownfemipower

“We’re not all so hopeless, and many of us benefit from the education.”

First, i want to say that I get everybody’s point and i think that it’s great, really really really great that so many people take this shit to heart and really genuinely want to learn and understand and change etc. I trust every single one of you, and understand you are coming from a good place.

but I just want to pause and reflect here and point out that there is some very real and very righteous rage here–Aaminah has Latin@ family, I am Latin@, several of the woc who posted are intimately connected to Latin@ communities or women through organizing or have seen their own communities similarly traumatized and then mocked by white majorities–and I just want to point out that even as women are *politely* pointing out that you want to learn and you are very grateful–this rage, this hurt, this pain that women of color are feeling is being very subtly rewritten to be about white women and how they hope that we won’t stop teaching them.

because what is this really about, this hope that we won’t stop teaching? I look at it as a defensive reaction. As, even in sympathy and understanding, being a bit defensive and needing to point out that *you* aren’t *them*–that you aren’t *that*. that *you* are not hopeless, even if those others are–it is a way of distancing yourself, and at the same time, sort of absolving yourself–you are not them, and you don’t have to call *them* out because you’re busy letting us know how much you want to be taught.

Now is not the time, even politely, to let us know that you hope we never stop teaching you–now is the time to cut through the bullshit and respect that when a community’s world is collapsing, a little human sympathy and understanding would be perfect. of course, there are other things that could be talked about and reflected on as well–but when a community is in pain and suffering–they owe nothing to anybody. They have the right to speak their anger, their pain, their rage, their hurt, without any pressure or expectations on them at all.

thank you so much for understanding–and I appreciate all of the support.

We don’t get it. So we need to shut up and listen, and realize that it’s not always about us.
And we need to, as BFP said, call each other out when we act racist, even inadvertently, and not expect our hands to be held every step of the way.

*(Actually I kinda am… Or, rather, I recognize how inherently unjust and shameful it is that my being born with less obvious pigmentation places me in a “protected” category whose interests are served at the expense of people who are, well, browner than I am.)

Christians With The Sense God Gave Them***

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(Can I Trademark that?)

This is the part of the blog where Wonder attempts to combat in her own small way the anti-intellectualism being shamelessly promoted as christian these days, by digging up tasty gems of reasonableness and intelligence from the writings of her christian forbears (or even current thinkers if i can find some good ones).

Today’s CWTSGGT is none other than CS Lewis, explaining why ….. democracy is better than theocracy (emphasis is mine)

I am a democrat because I believe that no man or group of men is good enough to be trusted with uncontrolled power over others. And the higher the pretensions of such power, the more dangerous I think it both to rulers and to the subjects. Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant a robber barron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.

And since Theocracy is the worst, the nearer any government approaches to Theocracy the worse it will be. A metaphysic held by the rulers with the force of a religion, is a bad sign. It forbids them, like the inquisitor, to admit any grain of truth or good in their opponents, it abrogates the ordinary rules of morality, and it gives a seemingly high, super-personal sanction to all the very ordinary human passions by which, like other men, the rulers will frequently be actuated. In a word, it forbids wholesome doubt. A political programme can never in reality be more than probably right. We never know all the facts about the present and we can only guess the future. To attach to a party programme — whose highest claim is to reasonable prudence — the sort of assent which we should reserve for demonstrable theorems, is a kind of intoxication,”

– C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms, ch. 3.

***Disclaimer: Posting somebody under this heading by no means indicates that i endorse every aspect of their philosphy. Just that:

  1. They profess to be Christian.
  2. They said something I consider to be intelligent, humane, relevant, or otherwise worth hearing, especially by Christians, or those who have an interest in the role of Christianity in the culture at large

“God Transcends Nationalism”

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I just want to clairfy I’m not trying to advocate for anarchy here. I’m just problematizing the the previous claim that one should see elected legislators as instruments of God. I believe each person, including the members of the board of supervisors, is flawed and finite and should discern the will of God for themselves rather than assume that persons in power will automatically work out a divine plan— Rev. Nancy McLadd, Bull Run Unitarian Universalists

I don’t fault your agnosticism.

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I really don’t.

Especially in the face of the tremendous harm that religion has done, supposedly in the name of god, I’m not suprised that you choose not to believe.

I often find believing to be difficult myself. It’s not God I doubt so much, as it is “His people”.

Actually, that’s not entirely true — I do question God. I don’t have any actual proof that God exists, or resembles what I believe God to be. But I still choose to believe. For lack of a better explanation, for reasons I’m not entirely sure of, it works for me.

However, I don’t understand how people who claim to believe in the same God I believe in, can behave so heinously.

I don’t understand a Christianity that’s more concerned with stopping gay people from getting married than with teaching its husbands to respect their wives.

I have nothing in common with a Christianity that soothes the conscience of the affluent with the notion that “God wants you to be rich” while opposing public policy that would help poor people (and everyone else) get their kids to a doctor.

I take issue with a version of my faith that makes no room for “foreigners” in “our country” when we’re supposed to be foreigners in the world.

I find atrocious an image of God that allows its followers to condone torture in the name of security, that advocates making war against an innocent population for profit. Didn’t Jesus say “love your enemies” and “blessed are the peacemakers?”

This is not the God I believe in. This is not the faith I practice.

The God I believe in is just as concerned with Iraqi & Afghan & Mexican & Guatemalan lives as American ones.

The God I believe in says his followers are required to take care of the sick & the hungry & the prisoners.

The God I believe in gave women a place of honor, and taught us alongside our brothers, and picked us to witness to his most wondrous of miracles.

The faith I practice doesn’t need to legislate its principles.

The faith I practice knows once the choice of what to believe is taken away, nothing else matters for much.

Backhanded compliments and other put-downs

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Dear well-intentioned christian male who thinks he’s not sexist:

You undoubtedly believe “misogynist” to be an unfair characterization of you, and it may be… probably is, if you define misogyny as an active hatred or disdain for women.

I think what Red is referring to is what appears to be an unwillingness to take seriously what we have to say. It may be unintentional on your part, but it’s there.

It’s there when Red says “kinda cute” in the context she referenced is insulting, and you try to “turn it around” and show how no it’s not *always* an insult.
(I don’t know if the post I linked is the exact one that prompted your discussion with her, but scenario # 2 is a pretty good example of the kind of phenomenon she’s talking about.

This is the rather common tactic wherein guys will undermine a girl’s self-image in order to get what they want (a date, sex, marriage, fidelity, silence, etc….)

its a means of controlling a person by way of making her feel bad about herself, without quite realizing why….

ex-fiance #1 used to call me a “sexy little twit” – same idea, just less subtle.

Is that what you think?

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And the Paul to the romans bit, nice but even lax Christians are told about how Eve made Adam eat the apple and got them banished and how woman was made from Adams rib. For Lot it was better to sacrifice his own daughters to be raped rather than let the Angels be (hello they’re Angels- can they not defend themselves?). And the only contemporary of Jesus who was a woman is portrayed as a whore and not a disciple. So yeah- pretty anti-woman. i don’t want anything to do with a religion that thinks sacrificing your daughters to rape is Christian thing to do.