Category Archives: people who bug us

An Oldie But a Goodie

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Or, the Comment Policy, as written by the Red Queen (see, “Red” starts with “R”, and “Queen” starts with “Q”. Even my six year old knows that reading is fundamental).

Cause it’s my (our) blog, my (our) discretion.

If you’re racist, sexist, assholish, repetitive, annoying or even just plain boring – I reserve the right to edit your comments and replace them with the Barney song

I love you
You love Me
We’re a happy family

Or maybe I’m a little teacup. It’s a mood thing really. Also possible are such nursery hits like The Ensy Weensy Spider or Humpty Dumpty.

I also may turn really awful comments into a blogpost to be made fun of and mocked accordingly. If you don’t like these policies you are free to write your own blog and you are free to write on your own blog how mean and horrible I am and how you’re just a poor misunderstood asswipe. But not here.

Edited to Add- I have recently become fond of making up limericks mocking misogynists’ penis size as well as editing comments to reflect the internal thoughts of the cheetoh eating, basement dwelling, couldn’t get a date with a woman, male entitlement trolls. If you must troll, you should be pretty damn secure in knowing that your comments will be permanently changed to reflect your stalker/ date rapist tendencies.

UPDATE 10-19-2011 Damn, how long has this blog existed? Forever. But that’s off topic. What you should know, dear trolly shitheads, is that this blog is moderated by 2, yes 2 kick-ass Elizabitchez, separated by 9 fucking time zones. So for about 20 hours a day this blog  is fiercely guarded by one and often 2 Elizabeths. Do you want to feel the full might and furry of two pissed of Elizabeths? No you do not. Trust. So move along. Go whine and moan and gnash your measly teeth elsewhere you tiny infant of a man (or woman, but mostly man. Almost always man, except for the time we had the Jill Staneck forced birthers praying for my sinning ass. But the worst of those were still men.)

Also, unfortunately with the great eating of Haloscan by fucking Echo, I lost my comment editing abilities (sad face). No more nursery rhymes or jokes about nice guys. But the ban hammer is mighty and fierce and I will crush you with it. 

A Note From the Moderatrix

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Sorry kids.  We don’t allow people to spill nonsense and untruths here at Elizabitchez.

Before you go crying, please look up the words “censorship”, and “comment policy”.
No one is stopping you from spilling your lame ass attempts at garbled gobbledygook, you just have to get your own corner of the interwebs to do it.
And since you won’t be able to ask any questions, being that you naughty naughty monkeys have been banned, please fill your time reading the comments policy here.
Save the planet, Peace!
Much Love,
the Moderatrix

Not to Change the Subject…

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but something has been really pissing me off lately.

Swearing.
I swear.  A. Lot.  I use “colorful language” pretty loosely.  I use the word “Fuck” like a comma.  Sometimes when I write I use a lot of slang and “profanity”, and I feel like it gets my point across.  I am a grown up.  A fucking “adult”, so if I want to rip loose with a few good “fuck that”‘s and “to hell with this”‘s, I am going to.  My writing is pretty damn good, I wouldn’t be getting published now and then if it wasn’t.
I am getting a little sick and tired of hearing people criticize writers, speakers, activists, especially women, for swearing.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard or read in a comment that I should watch my language, or that swearing makes me seem immature, or that using a “cuss word” (seriously, does anyone who actually “cusses” use the word “cuss”?) detracts from my point I could give up writing altogether and retire to a tropical island.
Whether it is people saying that Jessica Valenti is really smart until she opens her mouth (even her wonderful feminist primer, Full Frontal Feminism is sharply criticized for it’s conversational writing style) because her swearing takes away from her point, or a woman being completely discredited on a valid point or not taken seriously about assault because she had the audacity to say “Don’t fucking talk to me like that” I am getting seriously pissed that people are being judged on their choice to thrown “shit” into a sentence or not.
Swearing doesn’t show that you are uneducated or that you don’t know what you are talking about.  It doesn’t mean that you lack the skills to verbalize something in a more “friendly” way.  It sure as hell doesn’t mean that we have no better way to say something.  Sometimes the best sentiment out there is “right the fuck on“.
There are many, countless intelligent writers out there, many more so than myself, who are more than comfortable using “foul” language regularly.  Whether it be Cara at the Curvature, or Roy at No Cookies for Me, Jill or Zuzu et al at Feministe, the wonderful team at Shakesville, any of the ladies at Feminising, BlackAmazon, or our very own Red Queen, the fact that we swear doesn’t detract or lessen the message.  I would dare anyone to call any of them uneducated.  There are plenty of people out there who are saying things “politely”, and frankly, I don’t think it is getting the message across.  What is happening when we decide to swear in our writing is that we are making people pay attention.  We are making people wiggle in their chairs and think “Oh, no!  She didn’t!”, and I am going to tell you, “Oh, yes!  She did!”.  We have got you thinking, and if all you can see is the swearing and “impolite” language, then I think you might be either reading the wrong blogs, books, articles, or your brain just isn’t capable of handling the message.  If all you can see are the trees, get the hell out of the forest.
I am done taking criticism because I use any type of swearing.  If you want to police language, put your efforts on the people throwing around “gay” or “faggot” as if it is an insult, or have a round or two with someone who thinks it’s OK to call a woman a “bitch” or a “cunt”, or to say that someone who enjoys having sex is a “slut” or “whore”.  Focus your censorship on someone who is using hateful speech to keep someone in their place, usually a woman (or, for that matter, calling a man a “pussy” or “girl” as a way to insult him, cuz you know, that is the worst thing a man can be, the strongest human anatomy unit ever…don’t believe me…what do men have that stretches to about 300 times it’s size and shoots whole people forcefully out of a ten centimeter hole?).
We are a culture all our own.  We are writers, speakers, activists and feminists who are finished being “polite”, worrying about who is going to be offended reading a few choice four letter cherries and we are going to say exactly what we think exactly the way we see fit.  If you don’t like it the door is over there, and I promise not to get choked up.
And if you are one of us, thank-you for taking the time to stop by.  Take the message with you when you leave and pass it on.
And have a great fucking day.