A post over on feministe about the flooding in Mexico has sparked quite a bit of anger at brownfemipower . Well, not the post itself, but rather, the insensitivity and ignorance of the (mostly-white?) commenters, especially the first few.

Being somewhat new to feminism as a current (rather than historical) “thing” I’ve been reading a bit lately. on various blogs, including the Women of Color Blog. So I was a bit more prepared to hear what she had to say on this topic than I would have been a week ago. See, it seems that many non-white feminists have a lot to say about white feminists. And it’s not all “hey what a great job you’re doing promoting equality for everyone” It’s more like “Hey you’re really fucked up and NOT promoting equality for everyone!” It’s more like “You’re really biased and you just can’t see it!”

And you know what?

They’re right.

And I’m just as guilty as anyone. One of my first comments on Red’s post about the floods was an idiotic attempt to make a humorous connection between this tragedy and the immigration discussion we were having earlier. Mercifully, it was removed from the page in a matter of minutes by either Red, The Almighty, or Teh Internet Gremlins. Or Deek. He hasn’t posted in a while, but I’m sure he’s still got edit-power, and hates this kind of bullshit.

And I’m thankful, because it was offensive, and I never should have said it. It was offensive because people are dying, and I used it as an opportunity to make a joke. From safe in the heart of “white america,” I made a joke. not an overtly racist joke, but the fact that I, in a position of unearned privilege took advantage of that privilege to show how witty i’m not, reeks of racism.

And that is WRONG.

• Nearly a million people homeless, and we giggle over “Tabasco”.
• I can’t find a number on how many dead, and we excuse ourselves with “class, not race” as if the two bear no connection, and white people don’t benefit economically from the color of our skin.
• Our government offers the insult of 3oo,000 crumbs off our table for relief, while spending millions(billions?) on a “border fence” and military aid to fight a phantom “drug war” and we try to prove how clever we are.(my mercifully deleted comment)
• The Mainsteam US Media largely ignores the tragedy, and we quibble over whether the CA fires can be compared to Katrina

And then we go over there and reply to brownfemipower’s post with our “oh-no-i’m- embarassed-to-be-white*- we’re-not-all-like-that-please-don’t-hate-us-all” hand-wringing.

To Which she says:

brownfemipower

“We’re not all so hopeless, and many of us benefit from the education.”

First, i want to say that I get everybody’s point and i think that it’s great, really really really great that so many people take this shit to heart and really genuinely want to learn and understand and change etc. I trust every single one of you, and understand you are coming from a good place.

but I just want to pause and reflect here and point out that there is some very real and very righteous rage here–Aaminah has Latin@ family, I am Latin@, several of the woc who posted are intimately connected to Latin@ communities or women through organizing or have seen their own communities similarly traumatized and then mocked by white majorities–and I just want to point out that even as women are *politely* pointing out that you want to learn and you are very grateful–this rage, this hurt, this pain that women of color are feeling is being very subtly rewritten to be about white women and how they hope that we won’t stop teaching them.

because what is this really about, this hope that we won’t stop teaching? I look at it as a defensive reaction. As, even in sympathy and understanding, being a bit defensive and needing to point out that *you* aren’t *them*–that you aren’t *that*. that *you* are not hopeless, even if those others are–it is a way of distancing yourself, and at the same time, sort of absolving yourself–you are not them, and you don’t have to call *them* out because you’re busy letting us know how much you want to be taught.

Now is not the time, even politely, to let us know that you hope we never stop teaching you–now is the time to cut through the bullshit and respect that when a community’s world is collapsing, a little human sympathy and understanding would be perfect. of course, there are other things that could be talked about and reflected on as well–but when a community is in pain and suffering–they owe nothing to anybody. They have the right to speak their anger, their pain, their rage, their hurt, without any pressure or expectations on them at all.

thank you so much for understanding–and I appreciate all of the support.

We don’t get it. So we need to shut up and listen, and realize that it’s not always about us.
And we need to, as BFP said, call each other out when we act racist, even inadvertently, and not expect our hands to be held every step of the way.

*(Actually I kinda am… Or, rather, I recognize how inherently unjust and shameful it is that my being born with less obvious pigmentation places me in a “protected” category whose interests are served at the expense of people who are, well, browner than I am.)