So I’ve been reading a bit more about the Dawkins shit while thinking about why Dude A (marriage proposal guy) and Dude B (serenade guy) didn’t register a creepy factor, but Skepchick’s elevator dude did.

Dude A, as I am walking past him, smiles and says “You wanna get married? You looking for a husband?”. I giggled and said “No” and continued on my way. He didn’t block my path (it’s happened). He didn’t look me up and down(happened more times than I can count). He didn’t get mad when I turned him down (again, more times than I can count). He didn’t chase after me screaming “fucking bitch” (no, really, that happened). He didn’t keep bothering me to get me to change my mind (ladies, we all know those guys). He just smiled and walked off in the opposite direction from me.

With Dude B, I actually started the conversation. He was asking the guy on the bench next to me for a light and I said “I’ve got one” (sue me, I’ve had a minor, ok not so minor, setback in the quitting smoking war. I go back to ~mostly~ not smoking tomorrow. Thank the Boyfriend for buying me nicotine gum). I gave him my lighter, and then he started to sing to me. We chatted for a few minutes. He introduced himself. But other than the lighter he never asked me for any information that would make me uncomfortable. And I take it from his excellent singing voice that it is something he does often, not just to women who loan him a lighter.

Both of these guys respected my autonomy. The first took a no for an answer and didn’t look at me like I was a piece of meat in a super market. The second waited till I talked to him.

The guy in the elevator explicitly IGNORED Skepchick’s autonomy several times. He pretended like “oh, she didn’t mean me” when she was talking about misogyny and sexism in the atheist community and how uncomfortable it makes her when guys sexualize her when she’s just trying to talk about skepticism. He ignored her when she left the bar saying “I’m tired and I’m going to bed”. That’s twice. How many chances should he be given? Cause personally, you get exactly one chance with me. You ignore my autonomy once and there is NO earning my trust back. Once.

That’s the difference between creepy and non-creepy. Is the dude putting you in a position where you can’t walk away? Is he ignoring what you say and pushing what he wants? Is he demanding something from you, like that you smile when you’re just trying to walk to the bus stop or that you give him attention when you don’t have/don’t want to? Then he’s a creep. Full stop.

ETA- Cute story. Boyfriend, after our first lunch date, didn’t want to put me on the spot by asking for a second date in person, right there. So he texted me after I left to ask. That was super fucking classy. He gets mad props for it.

So first day of new job out of the way. It was only a half day, but I didn’t sleep well last night so I feel like I worked 100 hours.

I was feeling a little bit of imposter syndrome, that feeling like “OMG, I don’t deserve this. It’s too easy. I got the job too easy! What if they find out I am just a big turd!” Then I got there this morning and filled out 8000 pages of stuff and started training and felt much better. I’m now at the “I got this. I can do this” phase.

Yay.

Also, when I first moved to Seattle a thousand years ago, I worked in Pioneer Square. I think it’s the oldest neighborhood in the city. I loved it. It’s beautiful, to begin with. But I also like being around all the strange people you meet down there. I got there early this morning and sat on a park bench for a bit before going in. While sitting there, I got a not creepy marriage proposal (I don’t know if I can explain the difference between a creepy street harasser and a guy who is just being cute but who you/I am not interested in. But there is one.) And then I got serenaded by another guy, also in a non-creepy way (he pinged my gaydar,so I think he was also just being cute).

All in all, a pretty damn good first day. Now I need a nap. And some dinner. And a nap.

Agenda setting, the oh-so-important task left to the elites is where they decide what the issues are and how they are going to frame them. Agenda setting is not, in itself, a bad thing. If you have a responsive government, then the agenda should line up pretty closely with the needs and wants of the people. But if, for instance, the King of France has decided that the agenda is going to be getting gold plated window latches at Versailles instead of making sure the peasants can eat, then you’ve got a problem.

One of the basic pieces of American democracy is supposed to be freedom of the press. While, yes, getting to say the truth is important, freedom of the press is supposed to keep government responsive to the needs of the people by reporting what the needs are.

But when all media is owned by a handful of elites with only their pockets in mind, we have lost that crucial bit of society that keeps government responsive.

And Lambert has a handy little chart to show just how unresponsive the elite media is to our needs and wants.

Thankfully, social media can tell us where the elite media is failing us. Does anyone seriously read or watch the domestic news for actual news anymore? I’m down to reading McClatchy and The NYT (and I only read THE NYT to get pissed off at what they aren’t covering).

Hey, there’s at least one party in the world who gives a rat’s ass about women’s equality and is actually talking about it. It’s the Parti de Gauche (Party of the Left) here in France. In its latest press release it denounces the dismantling of the Service for Women’s Rights and Equality and pledges itself to the creation of a Ministry of Women’s Rights.

Remember when we talked about equality in the US? When did the equality of half the population become so radioactive? It’s tragic.

So now that the overwhelming joy has settled a wee bit and practical matters are rearing their hydra-like heads

Guess who is, for the first time since President Mondo-Fucko took office(that would be Bush 2) going to be a full-time, permanent employee with medical, vision and DENTAL?

I can’t stop shaking. OMG. OMG. OMG. So freaking awesome. OMG.

Or a day when my brainspace is occupied with “If I go pee, will I miss the phone ringing? If I take the phone to pee with me, will it be totes rude if I get a call and answer while on the toilet? Why won’t the phone ring. Arrrrrrrgggggg”

Thank the FSM for guest posts and movie reviews and T.O.E.

In the mean time, I got a super cool grey mini skirt at the Goodwill this weekend for 3 bucks. It will be perfect in fall/spring/winter with leggings. But it’s summer and I want to wear it NOW!!!!

Am I too old for naked legged mini skirt wearing? I don’t wear shorts (because I find them seriously uncomfortable. How do you keep them from riding up if you don’t have super skinny thighs?) Most of my skirts are either maxis or they come to just above knee level. This one is mid-thigh. But it’s dark grey with zippy pockets and makes me feel slightly more punk-rock and less middle-aged mom of a nearly grown teenager. And it would look hawt with my Elizabitchez t-shirt (shameless self-promotion, check!)

This is a guest post from Tobes! Damn, I miss her being in the blogosphere on the regular. But it’s Tobes! Yay!

I understand there is much to be critical of in the HBO series “True Blood” (Shakesville did an excellent take down last year) but I have remained a loyal viewer because I have found the characters laugh-out-loud funny, touching and in general it’s just fun “bad” entertainment. Nothing wrong with watching criminally good-looking people engage in soap opera storylines involving minimal clothing, right? Mostly I watch the shows because I have enjoyed the books and you almost “have” to watch so you can find what you LOVE and what they TOTALLY destroyed (ie: What the hell is up with this fairy storyline??!) However, I’d be lying if I said I was a fan of everything on this show and last night’s episode proved to be a REAL low point for the show.

The three-episode arc of season 4 has featured a main character, Jason, tied up and tortured by a former girlfriend, Crystal. Last night’s episode concluded with Crystal giving him Viagra (she conned him saying it was medicine since he was in pain). Later Jason wakes up to find her raping him (in the hopes he will impregnate her so she can carry on her mythical shifter bloodline). If that isn’t horrible enough, there is a line of other women waiting to take their turn and be impregnated. Jason is beaten, bloody and crying out for help. It is VERY, VERY disturbing.

I feel like a scene this bad warrants an extra ‘warning’ before the episode begins. There were notifications about “Violence,” “Adult content” and “Strong Language” but what about graphic gang rape? I watched Season 1 of Camelot on Starz and one episode featuring the rape of the Queen featured a warning about “Rape” before the show began.

And if this all isn’t enough to turn your stomach… HBO calls this brutal depiction deserved! The HBO facebook for True Blood” posted an episode recap video with a screenshot of Crystal and Jason and the description is this: “Jason gets comeuppance as he learns what it’s like to be objectified” – Jason’s character in the books and the show is known as a hound – he sleeps with many, many women (consensually!) and makes no lasting commitments to any of them. However, torture and a violent gang rape is in no way “comeuppance” for ANYTHING! Much less promiscuous sexual activity!

HBO has always seemed to be a ‘smarter’ network- tackling difficult issues in their shows and documentaries… how can they be SO in the dark ages with this victim blaming attitude? I have written a couple of things on the TRUE BLOOD Facebook page asking for an apology and I encourage others to do the same.

I am prepared to accept that a TV show like “True Blood” will be graphic and showcase sexualized violence. But I am not prepared to accept it as some sort of “he got what was coming to him” joke. I guess I always assumed that I was supposed to be disgusted by scenes like that—not view them as some sort of ‘due punishment’ for a character.

You all know I love a good fight scene, and really the best place for those is Kung Fu movies.

So Boyfriend and I watched the Ip Man movies on Netflix about the guy who would eventually teach Bruce Lee. They are seriously dude heavy and don’t pass the Bechdel test (this is not true of all Kung Fu movies, btw) but I liked them anyways.

Aside from the awesome fight porn (so freaking pretty!) there is a whole fuck load of Chinese propaganda in these films. Which I’m down with. It’s like watching Doctor Who and seeing the Brits be all “of course aliens would land in Great Brittan first! We’re number 1!!!” The first Ip Man movie is set during WWII when parts of China were occupied by Japan, and it’s up to our hero to (reluctantly)hand the Japanese a can o’ whup ass. The second movie is set in Hong Kong, and Ip Man must show the lousy occupying “white devils” that they are not so tough. I found myself humming the Rocky theme song through the 2nd movie. Now if only they’d make a 3rd movie where Master Ip teaches Bruce Lee so that he will become a stealth weapon against American Imperialism……

Also, it is interesting to watch the Chinese stereotyping of the Japanese and the Brits. Like there’s some serious race issues there, but I am hesitant to call it straight up racism because both the Japanese and the Brits were occupying forces which makes it problematic in the whole ____ism = privilege + power equation. In these 2 specific situations, the Chinese were not the ones wielding power.

But you don’t have to think to deeply on that (if you wish) to just enjoy an old fashioned, good man literally fights the evil bad system and wins movie. Plus FIGHT PORN!

Bonus, while the movies are not Bechdel-y, the guy who plays Ip Man, Donnie Yen, first learned martial arts from his mom. Way to go mom!

So last night at the European offices of Elizabitch Worldwide Industries we watched the June 30th Daily Show. Jon Stewart discussed the Supreme Court’s ruling against restricting the sale of violent video games to kids, accompanied by two hideously graphic clips of attacks by men on a woman. Then he skipped on to the choke-hold attack of Wisconsin Supreme Court judge David Prosser on his colleague Ann Bradley during a heated debate.

Men attacking women. Two simulated but with horrifying violence, one real and occurring in justices’ chambers of all places. It leapt off the tee vee at me. I wondered if Jon were going to riff on that.

No such luck. Jon was appalled by the heave-inducing violence of the video game, and astonished by the assault in chambers (and the partisan selective memory of the justices who were witnesses), but the one-way M->F direction of the violence? Left without comment.

Now I don’t blame Jon. He’s doing his job, which is to entertain the Rockefeller-Republicans-in-jorts who pass for liberals these days and who watch his show in droves. Anything with a whiff of feminism is a big downer to this crowd. Bringing up violence against women, even with his trademark feigned outrage, would sound like a lecture to some and hit too close to home for others. They’d squirm and roll their eyes, which kills the glow of superiority that is part of the magic of the show.

Jon did offer a powerful if oblique comment before the commercial break. “It seems your reality doesn’t inform your politics, your politics informs your reality.”

I’d say Jon said a mouthful there.