It’s my end of the month, so the cupboards are a bit scanty. But I’ve planned well. Or so I thought. Tomatoes were on sale, so I was going to make a giant batch of pico de gallo and then make things like arroz con pollo and tortilla soup to get us through till I do the BIG grocery shopping on Wednesday. Best laid plans and all that. We took the chicken out of the freezer to thaw last night and somehow the fridge went all wonky and froze everything. So arroz con pollo waits till tomorrow.

Tonight we are having some weird casserole. Oh look, we’ve got left over egg noodles going mushy, the tail end of some sharp cheddar, a half a cup of leftover alfredo sauce and a single piece of olive and rosemary bread that I threw in the freezer rather than throw out. Turn that stale bread into bread crumbs, throw everything else in a casserole pan with a lot of extra spices and top with the bread crumbs. Throw in oven at 450. Wait, hope. It can’t be bad with cheese sauce and noodles, really.

It seems appropriate that if I am going to abuse the song title by connecting it to douchebags in tacky blue suits, I should at least post the song.

Shutting down apologists for the elites (of either the red or blue flavor) and their “OMG THE DEFICIT/DEBT ELEVENTY11!” argument with “No country that is fiat in their own floating currency has ever gone bankrupt. Your argument is a red herring”. I MUST thank Lambert profusely for giving me that little talking point.

On that topic, did you all notice that Moody’s has resumed their “We’ll blackmail you with your credit rating” stance. Fuckers. As if they have any credibility.

Oh look, another sex scandal to keep us all from focusing on the actual important business of the country.

You know, mostly I don’t give a shit about who a (almost universally male) politician sleeps with, as long as they are above age and not a subordinate and it doesn’t fuck with their job of governing. It’s funny (not haha) when it’s a Republifucker who’s been spouting faux family values/homophobia shit, but really their sex lives aren’t at all relevant to my life. Though, when a lefty fucks up, it would be nice if they didn’t let their very important message hit the floor with their pants (like you John Edwards and your two Americas, and you Elliot Spitzer and Wall Street reform). And the ubiquity of these scandals, oh the fucking ubiquity.

I am tired of these over-entitled douchebags in tacky blue suits who can’t seem to go without sending crotch shots or knocking up their employees in exchange for getting access to a whole fuck of a lot more power and influence than the rest of us will ever be close to. If you want to be That Guy, go work on Wall Street and snort coke off the ass of whatever young coed (male or female) wants to take your “scholarship” money in exchange for naked party time. But stay the fuck out of politics. In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve got 4 wars going on and a huge population of broke, unemployed, hungry and homeless or about to be foreclosed on people who would like pols with a tiny bit of impulse control running our fucking country. For all the jokes they make about a woman deciding to hit the red button because of pms, I would like to flip the switch and say you tacky fuckers probably can’t be trusted near the Oval Office because you might hit the button while whipping out your schlong to take a cell phone pic for HawTGRL23.

Enough is enough. Pull your damn pants up, all of you, and do some fucking work. That’s what we’re paying you for.

Jay Smooth talks to white rapper Brother Ali about the “n” word.

Remember kids- the rule for language reclamation is you either have one (cunt, pussy, etc) or are one (bitch, slut, etc) or you DON’T get to use the word. Even ironically. There is no amount of social justice work, or other oppressions that you might have, that erase your privilege in another area.

(disclaimer- I don’t know who Brother Ali is, but I hope in his thoughts on oppression he includes us ladies too.)

And then RQ fell out of her chair laughing.

Thank god I didn’t have a drink when I read that. I might have needed a new laptop due to spit check. Now that I have (kinda) regained my composure, let’s get serious for a minute. (Starting with the disclaimer that the plural of anecdote is not data….)

For a long time I had your standard, patriarchy-approved and socially programmed views on sex acts, though I always had a decidedly slutty view on numbers and partners. I tried the whole “oh spank me big boy” shit, etc etc. And was left wanting (or more likely, giving instructions on the proper way to position your hand). I was, at best, meh on the whole “getting fucked” aspect of fucking. Sex was good, great even, but it didn’t get awesome till I discovered my innate toppy nature. Once I shrugged off all the porny “this is what a woman is supposed to want” shit and discovered that if someone is going to be doing the spanking, hair-pulling, bossing around stuff it really should be me- then sex became that existential floaty head space shit that we all imagine it’s supposed to be.

So yeah, if you ask a bunch of women who have grown up in a patriarchy full of porny images where the average sex act involves female submission to the all powerful cock, then your study is going to be skewed that direction. That’s not “hard-wired”, that’s social construction of a narrative to the benefit of the socially dominant class.

Are some women submissive? Yep. So are some men. Some people, both men and women, are a bit of both. And some people, both men and women, don’t want sex at all. And some people, both men and women, like sex but are neutral on the power play shit. And some of us women have some rocking skills with a whip. I’m just sayin’…..

Since spending 4 years saying “told ya so” regarding our own fucked up political system is boring, I’m much more interested in what other countries are doing (hello Spain, Greece, Libya, Tunisia, Morocco, Egypt, etc. etc. etc.) And I’ve had a big soft spot in my heart for Latin America since middle school Spanish classes.

Enter Peru, which just had an election Sunday and ballots are being counted.

Now my hard cynical eye is wondering, if Humala is ultimately declared the winner, is he a (not terribly)stealthy progressive who said toned it down during the election to get past the 50% post? Or is he more like Aristide, someone who started out truly progressive and won election(s) on the backs of the poor, only to become a great apologist for the wealthy elites once in office?

But hey, it’s still way more interesting than the current ‘Democrats suck but look over there it’s a Republican they suck worse’ politicking keeping us from doing anything real or important regarding fixing our broken system.

Drugs, the illegal kind, have been all over the news lately, from reports that The War on Drugs (or the war on some people who use drugs) has failed to reducing the discrepancy in sentencing between types of cocaine possession.

I’m gonna assume that most of y’all reading this are feminist/womanist and progressive, so when I say I believe in absolute bodily autonomy you might assume what I’m talking about is just reproductive freedom and the freedom from rape and gendered violence. But my commitment to bodily autonomy is much more than that. I believe that every single adult has the right to unrestricted liberty over their own person, and that children have damn near as much unrestricted liberty as well*. This means if you are an adult, I don’t give a shit what you put in your own body. I don’t care what you eat. I don’t care what you drink. I don’t care who you fuck (as long as enthusiastic consent is involved) or how you fuck. I don’t care if you drink wine, smoke cigarettes, or shoot heroin. It’s none of my business.

I do care that we are all fully informed on what we are putting in our bodies, whether it’s prescription drugs and their side effects or ecoli-tainted spinach. Poisoning people, even unintentionally, for profit, is a violation of someone’s bodily autonomy. Not providing someone with the full facts about things from potential drug interactions to stds is tantamount to lying. And lying removes a person’s right to autonomy by altering their options for choice.

The most basic of freedoms is the right to control our own body, it every possible manner. It is not an accident that the bodies most likely to be punished for using drugs are brown (though rates of drug use are actually pretty even among different races). It’s both a tool of the kyriarchy and one of those Gramscian hegemony/common sense of the elites things. It keeps certain people (women, poc, woc, lgbtqq, etc) from full freedom while positing these restrictions as “protections”.

So end the war on drugs. End the illegality of drugs and the war on certain bodies. It’s the most important freedom, and unfortunately it’s not in our bill of rights.Changing how we think about bodies is one of the most critical acts of social justice and it turns the protectionist/charitable bullshit on it’s head. Let people do to themselves what they want to do. Full stop. No ifs, ands or buts.

*regarding children, yes they absolutely deserve status as full human beings and the right to control their own bodies. But as they are children and their little neurological pathways aren’t yet formed all the way, it is our job as adults to guide them towards things like eating vegetables and taking baths or needed medicine. It is also our job to punish those who would violate their autonomy via rape or abuse, specifically because children are not as equipped as adults to recognize those violations.

This is about all I can handle this morning.

Meaning that they should have more options than condoms or vasectomies, not that they get veto power on abortions or baby having. (Obvs, in a healthy relationship these things would be discussed by a couple, but every woman should get to decide what she wants done to her body).

So male birth control. What’s the hold-up? Why don’t dudes get the option of a long-term, more reliable form of birth control than just condoms. Aside from the obvious no-baby benefits, there is a hidden benefit for us ladies. Fewer MRA douchenoodles could claim that women were tricking them into fatherhood not paying child support.

On that note, an Indian scientist has developed a reversible method for killing sperm before they are ejaculated. (fair warning, link is to Jezebel)Longer term and less fallible than condoms, reversible and fewer side effects than vasectomies, I think we all need to signal boost this idea asap.