When I first met Semi-Boyfriend (Turbomuffin to you all, but we’re going with Semi-Boyfriend now) I joked to Sylvie that “his voice is so sexy, he could read me the back of a cereal box and my panties would hit the floor.”

So today I get an MP3 in my email of Semi-Boyfriend reading me the back of a box of Kellogg’s Oat Bran.

Peeps, I don’t know that I’ve ever met a person who made me giggle and guffaw and straight up belly laugh quite so much.

There’s a breakout in e-coli poisoning in Germany that has killed 11 people.

The produce responsible for the outbreak is thought to have originated in Spain.

Spain is currently experiencing mass protests against government austerity measures.

My wild dots lead me to think that perhaps those austerity measures included cuts in food safety monitoring. Or perhaps overworked farm laborers are even more fearful of taking bathroom breaks when there are few jobs and no safety net. Or. Or. Or.

Maybe the dots aren’t so wild when businesses MUST cut every possible corner and a few dozen deaths are thought to be just the invisible hand of the market pointing a finger at what not to buy.

Today is the day we are supposed to think about the troops who have given up so much to protect us. It’s a bit like Mother’s Day, one day a year so we can push their existence to the back of our minds the rest of the year.

Or you can go the other way. You can angrily rail about the troops and war crimes. But I find people who blame low level soldiers for high level murder to be a bit classist. They are, after all, picking on mostly poor kids for taking the designedly ONLY job where they have a chance of promotion and education. I can’t fault them for that.

We ask these men and women to risk their lives and to follow orders above all else. It is therefore our job to make sure that they are only risking their lives for noble causes and only following orders that will not make us ashamed. We fail them on those lines all the time. We are now at war in 4 places. Because our soldiers cannot question their orders to go into these places and fight, we MUST. That is the job of all citizens, that is our responsibility. And we fail them. Over and over. We fail to give them opportunities to do something other than soldiering. We fail to keep them from being sent in to war for financial betterment of our elites rather than the safety of ourselves and/or our allies. We are their protectors as much or more so than they are ours. And we fail them every time we let shady politicians find new ways to expand warfare.

Barack Obama was supposed to be the anti-war candidate. Some of us knew he was full of shit from the very beginning, but we should hold him to his lies none the less. We need to come home from Iraq and Afghanistan. We need to stop bombing Libya and droning Pakistan. It’s been 10 years of war. 10 long years, with no end in sight. Our troops have sacrificed lives and limbs and families and too often sanity. We have sacrificed our tattered social services to pay for never-ending war. We are not safer. It is long past time for us to end this. Think about that this Memorial Day.

Found yesterday in Seattle’s Central District. Perhaps Satan has deleted all references to the rapture so that us evil sinners will continue on in our wicked ways? That’s my theory anyways.

you seemed like a grown up. I know you have a job, so someone thought you were responsible enough to pay you for work on a regular basis.

So can you please explain the 6 fucking hang up calls I got in the middle of the night from you? The last time I called someone and hung up I was 15 and I had a crush on them. Is that what you were doing? Sorry, you’re not my type. I don’t date children.

And by “those types” I mean the permanently-housed (for now) and furniture owning.

Yes my friends, I have a mattress and boxspring to put the retro 80’s peach duvet on. It’s been 6 months since I slept in a bed and not on a couch or air mattress.

Do you all remember the story about the homeless young woman who got an internship at Elle? She’s got a story that’s pretty universal as far as homeless folks go; had a job, lost a job, had a crappy family and friends in the same boat she was. Ends up living in a trailer in a Wal-Mart parking lot (since we don’t have a Wal-Mart in the city, trailer folks park under I-5 near Greenlake. Last time I was over there I saw 10 to 15 trailers parked on the side of the road.) And now she’s coming out with a book, “The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness”. Good for her, too bad the tiny advance is already spent.

But it’s the comments that show the various reactions we have to abject domestic poverty. There’s the “can’t be as bad off as she says, she has a laptop” and the suggestion to become an escort (I’ve gotten that suggestion in comments before too- thankfully I have a mighty ban hammer). Bootstraps! Spoiled Brat! You all know these lines.

But there’s also a lot of “damn government giving our money to banks instead of to the people”. Damn government indeed.

I have half a dozen semi-finished posts on Important!Shit! that I can’t seem to be assed to finish this week.

Let’s talk movies instead. Specifically how much I want to go see The Whistleblower. It’s like a custom-tailored RQ flick. It’s based on the true story of a Nebraska cop who went to work for Dyna-Corp as a sub-contractor to the UN and discovers a great big nasty human trafficking nightmare. It stars Rachel Weisz, and we all know I’d go watch that woman read shopping lists, and is directed by a woman, Larysa Kondraki. It passes the Bechdel test in the trailer, multiple times even. Oh and new Sherlock Benedict Cumberbatch is in it along with a bunch of other big fricken names.

So peeps, whatcha watching? Whatcha wanna be watching?

Besides, I’m in a particularly mushy mood lately. Can’t imagine why? (cough*turbomuffin*couch)

No peeps, this is not a joke. Miley Cyrus, the teen sensation that I have mercilessly teased the Kid about for years (he does not like Miley, yet I insist on claiming he’s harboring a secret crush on her)because it is just soooooooo fucking funny, has been yelling on Twitter about Urban Outfitter’s anti-gay, pro-theft policies.

Good for her.

(As for the Urban Outfitters straight up steals from indy designers claim- look I don’t believe in copy rights. But this is really straight up wholesale theft of an idea. They didn’t improve on a design. It’s not inspired by, not similar to, but the exact same necklaces made probably by underage moppets in a developing country for slave wages. They could have gone to the artist and done a contract or licensing deal. But no. They had to be shady fuckwads about it.)