If you are a girl, or a member of any oppressed class, and have a
tendency to use forbidden words like shit, damn, fucking douchebag is
going to be wearing his ass as a hat if he keeps it up, etc. then you
have probably also been told that your filthy talk is not okay. Here’s
why it’s not just okay, but necessary to cuss like a sailor. Cuss
words serve as a type of social bonding glue. Using them in common
conversation means you think the people you are talking to are your
equals, not people who are less than you who you must appear more
refined than, or better than you who you must impress. Women aren’t
supposed to use that kind of language because we are not equals. We
are less than men andare supposed to set a good example for the
children. So a quick, easy, dirt cheap method of social equalization
is cut off from us when we are told to mind our dirty mouths. Of
course the only proper response to that kind of thing is ‘fuck you and
the horse you rode in on’.

I just finished the final book in the series (thanks to the Kid who go
it for me as a bday present) and OMG I am so jealous that teen fiction
seems to get the best stories (and the worst- twilight, blah) See
also Tamora Pierce. everytime I think I know where the story is going
the main character gets ripped out of whatever chaos and dropped into
a new fresh hell of figuring out just whose pawn she is. So on the
same day I finish the books, i also read about the whitewashing of the
hunger games that hollywood is doing, first by (maybe) casting
Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss, the main character. Does Lawrence have
the chops to pull off thise role, abso fricken lootely. But only in
brownface and a black wig. Katniss, being from appalachia, looks like
my relatives, black haired, grey eyed, olive skinned. Perhaps I’m
projecting, but she sounds like the Cherokee, european mixed race
peeps whose ancestors hid in the hills and married whites rather than
be marched off to Oklahoma.

They keep playing The Legend of Billie Jean on one of the retro
channels and damn how did I not love this movie when I was younger.
It’s a smogersborg of awesome featuring blunt critiques of classism,
lookism, rape culture, and the idea that teenagers are wild and
dangerous animals. And it passed the Bechtel test long before there
was one. (What is missing from this movie is any person of color, the
movie’s only flaw). Here be spoilers, so avert your eyes if you don’t
wanna know. Pretty blonde Billie Jean and her younger bro Binx take
Binx red scooter to go swimming. resident douchebag steals Binx’
scooter. Billie Jean goes to cops, cops ignore her. Binx gets beat up
by douche getting the scooter back which is now damaged. Billie Jean
goes to dad of douche to get $ to repair the scooter and dad tries to
rape her. Then Binx accidently shoots rapey dad and the rest of the
movie is about their life on the run, trying to get justice. The
lookism and classism are things you just don’t see exposed in modern
movies.

Corrente has a great link up about 10 reasons not to militarily
intervene in Libya. Go read that. Now just a few things to add.
Democracy through tyranny is still tyranny. Lather rinse repeat. The
corrente link mentions Iraq (1st gulf war) and the balkans, but having
just read Haiti’s Lazurus in the nytimes let’s throw that in to. To
recap- aristide, man of the people, lives in exile in us after a
military coup. Makes so many fucking deals just to get back to Haiti
that he’s no longer a man of Haiti’s people, but of US imperialist
interests. And 15ish years later, the UN is still in Haiti and was
before the earthquake. (And ask yourself why Bush2 added Haitian
Patois to the critical language list during his reign). Beware of
warmongers for humanitarian reasons, they never ever ever have the
best interest of actual people in mind. (this includes the
fauxgressives chearleadering for moar war in Afghanistan ‘because of
all those poor women’ while ignoring all the poor women at home).

so a new pew poll shows that Americans are more tolerant of gay
families than of single mothers. Yay gays! But seriously folks, it is
time we recognize mothers as an oppressed class. you all know that
women make so many cents for every dollar a man makes, but did you
know that when you make that woman a mother her paycheck gets even
skintier while her expenses (daycare, diapers,healthcare, food,
housing and clothing for a start) grow. but we loooooove mothers. we
have a whole holiday just for them. blah blah blah, bullshit bullshit
bullshit. Single moms and kids are the people getting beat hardest
with the government austerity stick as states balance their budgets on
our backs. perhaps they think we’re so good at making do with less
that we won’t notice the cuts. whatever, right now i am disgusted by
2/3rds of the country.

I will take your nads to my knee.
There’s a point/counterpoint up at The Good Men blog where a dad is
upset that another dad took his kid to lunch at Hooters. I’ve spent
the kid’s entire life teaching him that women are people, not objects
to be purchased, and if some fuckface decided that it’s totes cool to
introduce boys to the soft side of prostitution and objectification
over cheeseburgers and bad wings I’d be just as pissed off as if the
parent had offered the kid his first taste of alcohol. Not fucking
cool. Not an appropriate right of passage. Not a funny boys will be
boys moment. And if you introduce my underage kid to that kind of
toxic shit, i will hurt you. What kind of arrogant shithead thinks
that’s ok without consulting the parents first? I don’t want the idea
that women’s bodies are for sale normalized in any way for the kid,
even if it’s just big tips for tight tanktops and short shorts.

today i am the mother of a 16 year old. The kid is now old enough to
get a driver’s license (though our lack of a car means I can’t teach
him to drive, but he could get one). It’s surreal, being near this
person who was once so small he hugged my knees and is now so tall he
towers over me and treats me like his little pet mommy. I am so proud
and tickled at the person he’s grown up to be. He is kind and
thoughtful and funny and smart. He is a giant goofball, ready to act
silly whenever the mood strikes. And because of him, and how much i
love him, i’ve been given the gift of self-love. Protecting him makes
me stronger, but it also made me realize that I deserved protection
too. knowing how much i love him, and how i would gladly throw myself
in front of a bus for him, i can see clearly how that is not at all
true of my own parents. it’s a big gift, i don’t know that i can ever
repay it. but i am going to keep trying. So happy birthday, my
beautiful monkey boy. you’re the best present i ever got.

how worried about them should i be since wherever we get mattresses
from, they will be second hand.

There are many things in the world that make me growly, Katy Perry, the existence of sweet pickles and Miracle Whip, that Two and Half Men is one of America’s most popular exported shows, but nothing makes me more growly then the oppression olympics. Truth is, unless you are an undocumented, disabled, single mother, lesbian, transgendered fat woman of color living in a tent city, there is always going to someone with more privilege and someone with less privilege than you. That’s why the kyriarchy is a tough system to fight, it keeps us constantly fighting with each other over who has it worse instead of examining why privilege exists and how oppression works to keep us in our place. 

Even devoted activists fall into the trap of negating the existence of another groups’ oppression, especially is they deem that group as less worthy than theirs. (See the scorn many liberals, progressives and fauxgressives have for poor whites). The thing is, all oppression, all privilege, exists for pragmatic reasons (at least to the elites). Oppression is not some nefarious cloud of hate that pours acid rain on the hearts and minds of those without access to an umbrella. All oppression, no matter what flavor or how it manifests in specific groups or people, exists to restrict access to resources and power. All privilege exists to reward people who gatekeep access to resources and power for the elites. Once you understand that, you can begin to dismantle the structure that keeps us all down. But as long as we keep fighting with each other over the scraps of privilege thrown out by the elites, we will never ever win.This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call each other out when we act privilege blind. Quite the contrary. But it does mean we need to take a bit of time and understand why certain groups are granted certain tiny powers (think white feminists who think pro-choice means only birth control and abortion, or why poor whites might “vote against their own self-interest (cough-not-actually-what-they-are-doing-cough). Both groups trade in racism, subtle or blatant, to keep the privilege they have (namely whiteness) while being legitimately oppressed in other ways (gender & economics). Intersections in the kyriarchy don’t just work with multiple types of oppression, they also work in people who have bits of privilege mixed with bits of oppression. 

I believe that everyone, even people I don’t understand or like, people who are the farthest thing away from who I am, acts in their own best interest. This includes things that I would never do, like having 17 children or joining the military. I believe that you have to start with giving people the respect that they know their own life better than any outsider ever could. That’s supposed to be fundamental part of feminism, trusting women to know what is right for themselves and their bodies. But it doesn’t just include women.

I trust that poor racist whites are voting for republifuckers because they aren’t given a better option. They need homes and jobs and clean water and food and air and medicine and education just like the rest of us. But no party is offering that to anyone. So they take the next best option, which is the promise conservatives make to let them keep what little privilege they have, their whiteness. If that is all someone in power is offering, then it’s not irrational that they take what they can get. It’s not irrational when middle-class (or better) white feminists think that bodily autonomy only extends to the right NOT to have children. No one has ever told them that they aren’t good enough to be parents, quite the opposite actually. 

Does this excuse either group from their privilege? No. If someone declares themselves a feminist, we expect that the least they can do is educate themselves on oppression aimed at other types of women. But when we know what the job of privilege is, we know how to break it. If white feminism is more than a little color, class, and health blind then we can see that certain women are given little bits of power to keep them from grabbing from the greater power and to keep them as the gatekeepers of that power. If it is only the voice of the middle-class or better, whites, etc, that ever get heard, then the bottom of the pyramid of oppression stays stable. Poor racist whites don’t have much in resources, but they gatekeep the power in order to hold onto what they have. Offer them something to alleviate their oppression (economics)and you may be able to make a dent in their privilege (race). And by “offer them something” I don’t mean that the people who have less than them need to offer something, I mean allies who are their equals.This isn’t about how WOC need to empathize with white women or poor people of color need to forgive poor white’s racism. People on the bottom do enough to placate those above them all ready.  I am a poor white. I can say to other poor whites “hey, it ain’t poor black folks or undocumented Latin Americans making you poor. It’s the CEOs and the politicians.” I can also say, to other white feminists “hey, I chose to have a kid and deserve just as much bodily autonomy as you who don’t choose kids do”. I have some privilege. I also have lots of oppression. One does not negate the other. But recognizing that can make me a much better ally.

I know Japan (like Seattle) is fairly earthquake prepared. But I’m
still crossing my fingers and hoping the damage is strictly structural
and no lives are lost.
I read awhile back that there might be a human caused reason for the
recent increase in big earthquakes. The theory is that the more we
take out of the earth (oil, gas, minerals,etc) changes the mass of the
plates and makes earthquakes more likely. Seems logical, physics wise.
But damn, we are fucked if it’s true.