if during any of the gasbagging going on as part of the War on Women! why no one has asked if Newt and Calista used birth control when they were fucking behind Newt’s wife’s back? Or did he just pull out and spooge allover. He seems like the type to make a mess and leave a lady to clean it up.

Or maybe he had a vasectomy? How did that go over when he converted to Catholicism? Would he have to get it reversed because every sperm is sacred?

Has anyone asked Mrs. Frothy Mix if she used birth control with the guy she was living with before Mr. Frothy Mix? You know, that guy who performed abortions for a living? Did she have to convert to Catholicism to become Mrs. Frothy, or was she lapsed? If she was lapsed, why wasn’t she excommunicated for fornicating with an evil-doer in the eyes of the church?

And the Romney’s- well they’ve been married for fucking ever. But their last child was born when Mrs. Romney was only 31. Now granted, 5 kids in 11 years is a fuck of a lot of kids in a short time span and I wouldn’t want to keep popping ’em out, but last I checked, ladies don’t normally stop being fertile at 31. (I’m fucking 36 and it worries the fuck out of me that I might end up preggo even though I haven’t missed a single pill in 7 fucking months straight.) So how did Mrs. Romney get blessed with super-fertility for the first 11 years of marriage and then no fertility for the last 30 years? Even menopause only knocks off a decade or 2.

The point to all this speculation about the family planning practices choices of a bunch of slimeballs in tacky blue suits and their other halves is that they are all GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITES when it comes to dictating what choices the rest of us have available.

And truth is, I don’t really give a flying fuck how they prevented pregnancy, or didn’t prevent pregnancy, or what their fucking church has to say to them about family planning. But they sure as fuck are invested in getting to browbeat me with some fake book their skyfairy allegedly dictated when it comes to my choice. And if I have to listen to their shitty sermons (and pay out of pocket when it comes to birth control or abortion, even though I have kickass health insurance because their godbag says “ewe lady parts groooody to the max”) then their own practices are up for debate. Don’t want to admit that you used some kind of birth control, then don’t take the ability to use some kind of birth control away from others.

Well not just today. It’s a longheld belief of mine, being a structuralist at heart.

Religion and politics are structures we created to corrupt things people are perfectly capable of doing on their own, without hierarchies.

For those of you who are believers- do you really need a man in a glorified bathrobe who stands above you, lecturing at you, to know god? Or does that man, and the man above him, and the man above him, and the funds that must be collected to build the buildings to house the place where the man stands above you and collects money and lectures at you, create a structure that increases the space between you and your deity of choice? Or maybe I’ve just been soaking in protestant culture all my life and thought Martin Luther was on to something. Maybe I’ve spent too much time reading about our famous local godbags, the Mars Hill Cult Church, and can’t see any benefit from one or a few godly men bullying people because god says he can.

Now politics, we all think we get something out of politics because roads get built or schools get run. That’s not politics. That’s governance. Politics is taking the power from the people and turning into a game for fun and profit at the expense of the people. That’s true, even in a democracy. Politics is the way we choose (or are forced, bludgeoned, tricked, and cajoled into “choosing”) who we give power over our lives to. Even democracy, supposedly the most self-regulating of all power structures because us peasants have to option of firing the king(s), eventually breaks down in oligarchy. Like gravity, it is a law. What goes up must come down. What is for the many will be narrowed to the few.

Perhaps Diderot is a bit bloody in his quote (and completely ignores when us lady types will be free) “Man will never be free until the last king is strangled by the entrails of the last priest”. After the last week of politicking and religiousizing over women’s bodies*, I would toast that dual execution gladly. Let the patriarchy kill itself and it’s minions with it.

*FYI- while everyone (with a uterus) was all “Shit look at fucking Virginia and it’s rape-o-sound law! Look at all the fucking dudes in tacky blue suits testifying about what god thinks of lady-parts!” Arizona was passing a law that makes it legal for a man or an underage girl’s parents to force a pregnant woman to stay pregnant against her will. And if she has an abortion anyways, dude can sue her for damages due to “lost companionship”.

On that note, TMI TIME!!!!I had an appointment with the gyno of Valentine’s Day (most romantic of all doctor’s appointments. I told her that I would have bedazzled the bits or shaved the pubes into a festive shape if I was going to have an exam- but this was just a consult) and I begged, pleaded, damn near cried for her to take out my uterus or sand blast it’s baby making properties into non-existence. She wants me to try getting an IUD one more time (round 4- if you’re keeping track) and I said I would not do it unless I was given enough drugs to make me damn near unconscious. I had an abortion once where I was given a lovely demerol/valium cocktail and I don’t remember a thing. It was, for a surgical procedure, lovely. Gyno (who is supposed to be the best per my regular doc) is consulting with SUPER GYNO! who can bend and twisted uterus to her will. I am doubtful. It’s like a bendy straw in there and there is no way to get a straight stick through a u-shaped curve.

In the end there can be only one (chick in an ensemble action flick)

Keira Knightly in King Arthur

Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four

Chloe Moretz in Kick Ass

Kate Bosworth in The Warrior’s Way

Every single Star Wars movie ever

That’s just a wee tiny fraction of the problem.

I have this thing, this thing where I fucking love me a good break-up song. It doesn’t matter if I am happily coupled-up, unhappily coupled-up, or happily single. Mushy love songs, with very few exceptions, make me wanna barf. Grand romantic gestures make me uncomfortable. But a low down dirty break up song, that I get. I have been known to give cd’s full of break up songs to (soon to be ex)boyfriends as a kind of parting gift.

So in honor of the most romantic of holidays (didn’t it originate in a slaughter? I’m too tired to wiki that, wevs) here’s a few tunes to belt out in the car or shower.

First, the lady of the moment, Adele. Damn can she sing. (Yes this post may be entirely so I can play this song). I think the killer line has gotta be “Think of me in the depths of your despair. Make a home down down there cause mine sure won’t be shared.”

Then there’s this little Gotye song. I love how when she’s just making sounds and he’s complete ignoring her to focus on himself. This song plays like a real fight.

The Postal Service – Give Up. This was the centerpiece of one of the break up cds. (There was also a shit ton of Magnetic Fields on that cd, but I can find a decent version of the song I wanted to post so you get this instead.)

Kaiser Chiefs – Everyday I love you less and less. It’s good if you’re in the pissed off phase of a break up.

And when you’re done being pissed and want to dance around your living room

That’s just a few of the songs in my break up catalog. Now one that’s a bit brighter and a total exception to the I Hate Mushy Love Songs rule. This one’s for the boyfriend.

I wish I could say I thought of it, but like a lot of my commonly used words (see this blog title, for example) it comes from the extremely awesome Ruthzilla. I love her. She is rad.

So what’s this got to do with the Highlander, that seriously cheesy fantasy movie series. Remember the tag “In the end there can be only one”. Then think about all the movies, tv shows, books, bands with the one of these things is not like the others bass players, etc. where it’s a bunch of dudely dudes and one chick. One chick in Oceans 11. One chick in Smashing Pumpkins. One chick in The Hobbit. One chick in the first season of Avatar The Last Airbender (and I love the fuck out of that show- mind you they fix the Highlander problem in season 2 when they meet Toph). One chick in the first season of Angel. Maybe in the second as well. I can’t remember when Fred shows up. Then there’s video games. OFFS video games. I am told that in Fable III, if you aren’t playing as the princess, there’s only one chick in the whole party.*One chick in a sea of fucking dudes.

This tends to bleed over into other areas. One chick on the panel at the math conference, for example. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been the one chick in my places of employment- but it’s not a negligible number. Being the exceptionalist girl with a bunch of dude friends (yep- been that chick too. In order to be perceived as exceptional, you have to be pretty shitty about “typical” girl behavior.) In the end, there can be only one!

Highlandering marginalizes women so that we are either ignored, or places into super shitty, bow to the patriarchy competition with each other in order to be considered equal. But there’s nothing equal about being the single lady in a group of men. It’s the opposite of equal. It’s just another shitty version of the hierarchy that fucks all of us over.

And when Highlandering happens in media, it means that us lady types have fewer and more narrowly defined characters to try to identify with. If you want to be the hero, or the scoundrel or even just the main character in your own life story, there aren’t a lot of fictional (or well known non-fictional) choices to pick from. And it means that it’s harder for men to see us in any roles that don’t fall under the standard “hookers, basketcase or doormat” trope. It means that since the only movies that dudes see more than one lady in are craptastic rom-coms, that stupid idea that women are out to trap a man into marriage and babies persist.

And that shit ain’t right.

*Video game reference supplied by Ouyang Dan, who when I asked for an example of Highlandering in video games she said “All of them except for Bioware games”. Perhaps if Highlandering wasn’t such a fucking issue, I might be willing to play something other than puzzle games.

Not me- but the Box Car Kids. Single mom, bunch of kids and pets who’ve lived the last couple of years smushed in a tiny trailer together. She took a part-time job with the hope of turning into full-time, which made her no longer eligible for unemployment when the job went away.

So if you need a writer/editor/cat bed/whatever- or know someone who does- pass it on.

And/or if you’ve got it to spare, throw some cash in the donation box.

I know, I know. It’s been forever. I used to wonder who these people were who went weeks without blogging. Now I can’t remember how I ever had the umph to do it on a daily basis. I am tired, y’all. And the stupid fibro is extra fucking stupid at the moment. I took a cab home from work today because I didn’t want to cry on the 2 block walk to the bus stop, and my arms ache like I’ve been lifting weights all day when all I did was type.

Of all the diseases- this has to be one of the stupider ones. At least cancer has immortal cells that refuse to die when they’re supposed to. It’s a bad, horrid fucking disease, not doubt about it. But the science of cancer is interesting. (Seriously- no “programmed cell death”. That’s what cancer is. Cells that refuse to die when they get old.) But fibromyalgia is just straight up stupid.It might be lack of sleep. It might be childhood trauma has fucked all your pain neurons. It might be that you’re just a big whiney whiner- now take some advil and you’ll feel better. (Note- that last sentence is a lie. Like the commercial says “My pain is real”. Ugh)

So how about some awesome links instead?

Canadia-land discovers that giving people a guaranteed income (what some have called a mandatory minimum income) lowers hospital visits by 8.5 percent. I know you all are shocked, shocked that alleviating the worst effects of poverty would have a beneficial result on health. Shocked.

Do you need decent ammunition to throw at shitty evo-psyche fuckers when they claim that all men are biologically programmed to be violent, rapey shitfaces? Read this. It’s probably the best explanation I’ve ever seen for where sexism originally comes from (though dude- it wasn’t brute strength that got men behind the plow. It was women having these leech type attachments stuck to our bodies through early childhood. Can’t drive the oxen and harangue the children at the same time). Note the the link takes you to an excerpt at Feminist Philosophers. The full text (which is worth the read)is at Psychology Today, and they’ve done enough shitty things (like the whole “black women are less attractive” bullshit) that I won’t link directly.

Aeryl, darling woman that she is, sent me an email

that OMG Buffy is

SPOILER ALERT……………….

preggers and having

SPOILER ALERT………………….

Still spoiling…….

AN ABORTION!!!! Fuck yeah Joss Whedon for that. More again at Feminist Philosophers

Also Washington State is about a week from legalizing gay marriage. We’re just waiting for the governor to sign. Now the fuckwad biggots will of course try to pass an initiative or referendum to overturn that. It will probably be on the ballot in November. Which may get me to go out an vote. Not for Obama (fuck him. I didn’t vote for him last time and I sure as hell am not voting for him when I’ve been proven right about who he is). But I can’t in good conscious sit by while and let douchenoodles vote against people’s human right to marry the person they love. Even if I am not sure that marriage is a good thing, because we should all just get access to healthcare,etc. without having to couple up to do it.

If you’ve lingered in social justice circles for more than 5 minutes, you’ve probably heard someone say that intent doesn’t matter when it comes to prejudice. “But I didn’t mean it in a racist/sexist/homophobic/ trans*phobic/ableist/classist/ blahblahblah way!” is probably the goto cop out of privileged people everywhere.

But intent doesn’t matter. Not one tiny bit. And now I’m gonna tell you a little story about probably the biggest fuck up of good intentions in history.

Once upon a time there was a Spaniard named Bartolome de las Casas who came to the New World. He started out in 1502 in Hispaniola as an owner and raider of human flesh, specifically an owner of slaves from the local Taino Indian tribe. He even argued against the Dominican priests who said that genocide of the native people was bad.

He then moved on to Cuba, where he participated massacres against the natives. Participating in that level of violence changed his mind. He gave up his slaves and
became “Protector of the Indians”. No seriously, that’s what his title was. He spent the rest of his life lobbying various Kings and Bishops and Cardinals to get them to see that the indigenous people of the New World were, in fact, people. he even joined the Dominicans he had argued with previously.

And one of his brilliant ideas, put to Charles V of Spain, was that the encomienda program should be ended and replaced with….

wait for it…..

importation of African slaves to replace the workforce (slave force) the Spaniards would give up.

His intentions were good. He saw the horrid effect of European germs and slavery on the local populations. He didn’t want any more Indians to die. That was it.

Of course, we all know what happens after the Spanish say “Fuck yeah, African slaves!”. 500 years later and we’re still seeing what horrors that plan created on 3 fucking continents.

And the thing is, if de las Casas hadn’t been a privileged shitface to begin with- the idea of replacing one slave population with another, even with the “best” of intentions, would not have crossed his mind.

Now most of us will never have the influence to be a good-intentioned shitface on that scale. Thankfully. But that doesn’t mean that our good-intentioned fuck-ups aren’t hurtful and don’t perpetuate oppression. It’s the thousand tiny cuts that keep institutional oppression, well institutional.

So I am looking at getting Kid an ID card (we’re city folks- he doesn’t need a driver’s license) because he is nearly 17 and should have one. I’m reading the website, lalalalalala, to find out what documents he needs and if I need to go in with him. Then I run across this shit:

“If your last name is different than your parent’s or guardian’s…we’ll require more documents (A divorce decree or marriage certificate).”

I don’t have a either of those- being that I’ve never been married. And Kid’s name on his birth certificate is different than my name- which is, was and ALWAYS will be different.

So what, because I refused to marry Kid’s (insert whatever insults you like here)dad and have my own damn name- Kid can’t get ID? WTF? This is fucking 2012. Kid’s with different names from their parents are like what, almost a majority by now.

I think it might actually be easier to get his fucking passport than to get a boring state ID card because of this stupid requirement. Excuse me while I scream my frustrations in the alley.

The lovely Sasha at Sasha Said is facing eviction with her 4 puppies. If you’ve got it to spare- throw some kibble her way.