Dennis Byrne, in an anti-gay marriage op-ed in the Chicago Tribune, accidentally blurted out a truth:

[M]arriage, among other things, seeks to protect the lives and rights of women and children in a historically patriarchal society.

Dennis! Yes! You see the light! You’re tired of being the asshole who’s unfit for mixed company, right? Can we count on your help to dismantle the patriarchy? Sign right here! Hey everybody, good news, we signed up a conservative white guy!

Wait! Dennis? Dennis…?

Oh, hell.