I seem to be posting for the post inhibited today. This was pulled out of comments. Hopefully phuxtiq will go accept the damn invite so he can post these himself in the future.

phuxtiq said…
Sean Young was so hot in that… If she’s thirsty I’m sure my mono-testicular ball sweat would make a tasty beverage.

“A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then, that is is the year 10191. The known universe is ruled by the Padishah Emperor Shaddam the Fourth, my father. In this time, the most precious substance in the universe is the spice Melange. The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel. The Spacing Guild and its navigators, who the spice has mutated over 4000 years, use the orange spice gas, which gives them the ability to fold space. That is, travel to any part of the universe without moving. Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. The spice exists on only one planet in the entire universe. A desolate, dry planet with vast deserts. Hidden away within the rocks of these deserts are a people known as the Fremen, who have long held a prophecy that a man would come, a messiah, who would lead them to true freedom. The planet is Arrakis, also known as Dune.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. Was Frank trying to tell us something???

“A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then, that it is the year 2006. The known universe is ruled by the President of the United States of America. In this time, the most precious substance on the planet is Oil. Oil extends life. Oil expands consciousness. Oil is vital to travel. OPEC and its navigators, who the Oil has mutated over hundreds of years, use the black crude, which gives them the ability to fold cash. That is, travel to any part of the planet and flaunt their clout. Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. The Oil exists only in one region on the entire planet. A desolate, dry place with vast deserts. Hidden away within the rocks of these deserts are a people known as the Iraqis, who have long held a prophecy that a man would come, a messiah, who would lead them to true freedom. What they got was George Bush… Sorry guys better luck next time.”