Since I have now spent 3 days in bed due to a horrible menstrual cycle and a uterus that hates me, Wonder and I were discussing the possibilities of getting rid of said uterus via craigslist.

Now i understand the type of crunchy earth goddess feminists who love their periods and want to make paintings with their own blood. But that ain’t me. Granted, I bleed enough every month to stock an entire Sherwin Williams store, but meh. The crunchy earth goddesses I have known were never laid out once a month on a pile of already ruined sheets and towels, making only short trips to the bathroom and worrying the entire way about staining the floors underneath them. That’s my reality, more of a Niagra falls than a gentle flow.

So if you know someone who needs a perfectly functioning but otherwise unwanted uterus- take mine. It works. It’s been pregnant more than once, it carried the kid through an entire pregnancy and then some. It bleeds on schedule, if somewhat excessively. Moving expenses, of course, not included.