It’s a very surreal position I am in right now.

For the first time since FDR, someone in my family isn’t voting for the Democrat. And that someone is me. Four years ago, I couldn’t even imagine it. 8 years ago, I was screaming at Nader voters for their betrayal.

But I can’t vote for Obama. The sexism was/is too much. The kowtowing to Republican beliefs is too much. The horrendous economic policies are too much. I wonder if I was in a swing state like dear Wonder and family, if I could hold as fast to my beliefs. But I am luckily in a dark blue state, so I am not faced with that dilemma.

But I do have hope. For two reasons.

First, regardless of what happens on next Tuesday, the long Bush nightmare is over. No more Commander Chimpy. No more Darth Cheney. No more Mad Cowboy Disease. No more of this horrible dystopia. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief on that one.

Second, I have hope not because of Obama, but because of the people he has inspired. The poly sci idealist in me gets teared up at the sheer number of people who are involved in the goings on of their government right now. (Granted a good number of those people are like my asshole stalker, but not all). This is what democracy is supposed to look like. People being involved in the decisions made at the top. People caring enough to do the hard work that democracy requires. It is not enough to vote.

Political science is the study of how people distribute power. Democracy is supposed to be the mass diffusion of this power to the people, so they can have power over their own lives. As a feminist, seeing people step up and accept that power makes me giddy. It’s a big responsibility, and sometimes it’s soooo much easier to let someone else do the hard work.

So come what may, I will celebrate next Tuesday. I spent about an hour and a half arguing with the Puppy last night (it’s foreplay for me, people) while he tried one more time to “sell me on Obama”. That ship has done sailed. But Tuesday night is all about an end to the horrors of Bush and a moment when the American people have accepted their responsibility for guiding their own lives.

That is worth at least a couple of vodka tonics, maybe even some champagne.