since I’ve been on a feminist rant. I don’t know if I can do a whole rant as I am still nicotine free and rants are usually fueled by chain smoking and coffee, so here is a mini-rant with links to make ya puke.
I was cruising google image search for some inspiration. I need to paint and I want to do a big agit-prop piece. I also need to replace a collage that used to live in my kitchen because it now resides in the office window of my anthropology professor. I was thinking of going with a feminist workers theme for the collage and I got some really cool stuff. Then I came across this…..
It’s from one of those freakish father’s rights groups, though this one is Canadian instead of good old red-necked American chauvinism. But it just shows how universal the idea of “scary man-hating feminists” is.
Just to give you an example of the kind of crap these people spew- here is a WOMAN (dear gawd, these let her recover from the concussion she must have received as a result of the obvious dick slapping done to her by the patriarchy) writing about a battered woman who came to her for help.
You are not a battered woman,’ I said with a sigh. I define a battered woman as a woman who is a genuine victim of her partner’s violence. ‘You are a violence-prone woman, a victim of your own need for violence.’
That’s right, Blame the Victim. She hasn’t been battered because she asked for it by being a violence prone woman with a need for violence. WTF!
My brain needs to be scrubbed clean now. I feel dirty just for reading this site.
just playing devil’s advocate here… what is to be said about women who repeatedly find themselves in unhealthy and violent relationships? I’m not taking the men in those relationships off the hook, but is a women never responsible for her own company?
and also… unrelated, but check it out: I make neat metal things.
Here’s a little bit o’ info that you might not have had. At the ripe old age of 20 with a brand new baby, no money, and no job I was a battered woman. My son’s father took great joy in throwing me across rooms and dragging me around by my throat while I held our newborn in my arms. It took a YEAR of planning to leave and after I left he stalked me until I moved across country.
I can promise that I was not addicted to violence, but I was very conscious that if I didn’t time my leaving just right I would be dead and the kid’s dad would be one of those people that are talked about on the news by saying “he was such a nice guy, I can’t believe he just strangled her like that”.
I didn’t keep going back to him cause i was desperate to get hit again but because I needed to plan better to leave. I have not been in any kind of relationship where violence was a problem since then. Oh and he didn’t start with the violent stuff till after the kid was born and suddenly my attention wasn’t on him anymore. So how was I responsible for his psychopathic tendencies? How did I ask for it or how was responsible for the company that I kept?
Your comment was the equivalent of blaming a girl for rape because she wore a short skirt. Cause a girl should be responsible for her own company and the behavior of all men she comes in contact with.
no no — again, I don’t pass the blame away from the violent offender. Not at all.
And perhaps your situation isn’t a good example of what I’m talking about, and your closeness to the situation makes it difficult to see my angle. This may just be a perspective issue.
My point is that there are women who do gravitate towards bad men. And while violent men should be punished for their behavior, how many times do we pity the woman who gets into relationship after relationship where she gets beat up? At some point, shouldn’t we tell her that she should re-think her relationship pattern?
I’m not passing the blame, and i’m not blaming the women for her abuse or rape. That’s not it at all. But surely you see my point.
Great blog! I’ve added a link to your blog on Blog of the Day under the category of Rant. To view the feature of your blog, please visit http://blogoftheday.org/page/112679
ugh.
jovial cynic: what is to be said about women who find gravitate to violent relationships? Should a man who abuses them receive special treatment because he beat a woman who cannot avoid abuse? Human psyches are fragile, uncertain. How is a woman to know gravitates toward abusive men?
This may seem like an aside, but in issues of misogyny as well as racism, ALL sides need to be healed. Your question reminds me of racists who ask when will blacks solve the problems that a racist society created. Blacks have their own issues, but many of them would be solved if whites chose to end racism in every form.
Get rid of abusive men, and you women will not gravitate to men who abuse them.