My Social Welfare is Better Than Your Social Welfare

Soopermouse likes to torment me with the many many ways Europe has a better social safety net than we do here. I know it’s all a ploy to get me to pack up and head overseas (and it’s working)but I totally thought I should share some of the back and forth we do in chat all the time.

Quelipoth: there you are
beeeeeeeeeeeeeep
me: Im only kinda here

Quelipoth: are you ok crazy lady?
me: meh
Quelipoth: thats a no :(?
me: well yeah
Quelipoth: ok wazzup
me: we’ve got about 14 bucks to get through till the 8th
Quelipoth: fuck me :(
dont you have pound shops?
me: yep
yeah, but they don’t ever sell anything for a dollar really
Quelipoth: boo
our poundshop sells 2-3 tins for a pound
me: stupid england
Quelipoth: 10 pounds yesterday_ 16 eggs, 3 400 grams tins of fish, 2 loaves of breadm 3 tins sweetcorn, one jar pickled gherkins
and some fig rolls
me: we spent that much and got macaroni and cheese
and sausages
Quelipoth: your country sucks bolox
me: yep
Quelipoth: 7 pounds of sliced steaks £5
me: fuck me with a chainsaw
Quelipoth: thats at the butchers, its more expensive at supermarket
me: we don’t have butchers here
Quelipoth: we do. when we’re very poor we get packs of meat flakes, 2 pounds for 1.15
throw them in stew
me: meat flakes
bwahahahaha
Quelipoth: what>?
me: meat flakes is a very funny phrase
we don’t have meat flakes here
Quelipoth: when they cut off the nice slices of steak, there are meat flakes remaining.
nice quality
me: ahhhhhhhhhh
yeah we don’t have those
Sent at 10:44 AM on Thursday
Quelipoth: shame on you. do you have a market?
me: no- I scrounge for groceries in the street by begging hapless passers=by. Of course I have a market
Quelipoth: an open air farmers and fishermen market?
me: yeah- we have those. A rather famous farmers/fish market is here actually

Quelipoth: is it expensive?
me: the problem is that not all the stalls accept food stamp cards, and you never know till they are about to ing you up
Quelipoth: ours take only cash
me: which still leaves me out. It’s 14 bucks in food stamps that I’ve got.
Quelipoth: you wouldnt get them in fod stamps here, you would get income support
and child support
me: I’d have to be a citizen
Quelipoth: and rent support and council tax support
rezident
me: legal resident
Quelipoth: i got a travel pass: £1/month on all buses
me: yeah- I don’t have that
Quelipoth: your country sucks balls
me: that’s part of the problem. I don’t even have bus fare
I get some rent assistance, $286 a month in food stamps, and healthcare. Thats it.
Sent at 10:54 AM on Thursday
me: I’m totally blogging this, btw
Quelipoth: does your kid get meals and free rides to school?
Sent at 10:58 AM on Thursday
me: yes, but it’s summer and he’s home so our food bill is much higher.
Quelipoth: dont you get summer activities tickets for him?
me: Nope
When he was little, I got scholarships for summer daycamps so I ended up only paying like $75 a month (still high when my income is zero) but now that he’s 13 there is nothing for him
Quelipoth: up to age 14
they have pool and some skills training
me: thats cool. Kid loves to swim and there is a pool down the street but I can’t afford the fees
Sent at 11:03 AM on Thursday
Quelipoth: they have activity classes that kids can choose based on their preferences, like computers, languages, history, geography, small farm
me: small farm?
Quelipoth: its an activity centre
me: do you live in the boondocks?
Quelipoth: yeah, they take care of small animalsliek rabbits and hamsters
me: ahhhhhhhhhh

I think ending on small farm animals is the way to go.