When I was exactly the Kid’s age (14, about to start high school) I lost my virginity in a not pleasant experience. Details aren’t necessary, but it was a moment I’d rather forget.

However, the Kid being the age that he is has me thinking. Thank gawd he is still in the awkward dork phase. It gives me a little more time to teach him things I wish I knew then. But it’s hard. My options for discussing sex with him seem incomplete. I can tell him that abstinence is the only way, which is hypocritical at best and harmful at worst. I can teach him that you should only have sex with someone you love, except I don’t believe that. I can fill him full of information on pregnancy and disease prevention and enthusiastic consent (all ready done, regularly reinforced) but that isn’t all there is to sex. Actually, that’s the easiest part of sex. The hard part is all the stuff no one ever teaches you, like when you and your partner think sex means something different. Is it a relationship? Is it just for fun? How do you get over a break up? How do you get what you want and need without hurting or being (too badly) hurt by another person? How do you deal with all the weirdness that sex creates like body issues and the rushing hormones of post orgasmic bliss?

So the Kid and I have been watching a whole lot of Buffy lately. It started after I showed the Kid the Buffy Vs. Edward mashup and made a comment about how teenagers should wait to have sex cause teenagers are stupid about relationships.