By now you have hopefully all seen this

which is a response to this superbowltastic bit of man-wallowing

I just have a few things to add

I will continue to feed/house/clothe/educated/and care for your children after we split up, while you whine about the child support you’re not paying for the kids who have your last name

I will try not to let the stupid dude-bros in the movies you like to watch remind me that you are aren’t much different from those paragons of perpetual infancy that star in them

I’ll fein interest in sex and fake orgasms so that you still feel wanted

I’ll let you talk over me, interrupt me and babble on at me about things I have no interest in and will take it quietly when you joke about how women never stop talking

Or maybe I won’t. Singledom is a heck of a lot easier.