But probably only one way works for your particular kid.

Things that don’t work for the Kid are:

bribery (mostly, if it’s an immediate reward like “I’ll let you have the TV if you sweep the living room”, it works. But offering him money for good grades does not).

punishment: grounding doesn’t work. It just makes him miserable. And me miserable.

threats to punish: See above

What has worked so far is letting the Kid see how his responsibilities are a part of the whole. He’s very good about doing the dishes after dinner (aside from some problems understanding that his level of clean and mine are very different). He also knows that he has the choice to either do the dishes or do the cooking. Anytime he wants to plan and prepare a meal, I will gladly clean the kitchen afterward.

He gets that meal planning is a huge part of my day, and that it is a huge chunk of work for anyone who has a family.

So since the Kid is really good at understanding how his behavior impacts the lives of others, I thought I might use that to get him to finish his homework in a more timely fashion.

Me: Kid, you have to go to college and get a good job, which means you have to get a scholarship because there is no way I can pay for it. Which means that the next 4 years are super important and your grades have to be better. And it’s totally unfair, but you have to go to college and get a good job cause there will never be any money for me to retire if you don’t. It sucks, it’s totally unfair, but you are going to have to take care of your mom when she’s old.

Kid: That’s cool, but you have to promise to live with me and keep cooking me awesome dinners when you’re old.

Me: Oh Kid, I think there will come a time when living with your mom is the last thing you want to do.

Kid: Then I’ll find you a really nice retirement home.

Me: With a kitchen so I can still cook for you sometimes.

Kid: Yes.

We’ll see if fear of his mother living on canned cat food works to get his grades up.