So i have an awesome therapist who’s been hitting me hard with the
cognative behavioral stick. It’s a wee bit hokey, but it works. Last
week (after the perfect apartment debacle) she made me write and
repeat ‘I deserve good things to happen to me’. Today I went and saw
an appropriately priced place and Dickens could not have written a
slummier hole if he tried. Massive woodrot, security system that’s
been broke so long that tenants have faded notes up reading ‘ honk or
yell for apartment 5′, the floors were so uneven that I’m not sure if
it’s a structural issue or if the lumps were dead things under the
carpet. But this is what the social worker thinks is appropriate. So
how does that mesh with the therapist telling me that I deserve good
things? Someone’s view is scewed and I’m not sure whose.