I go back and forth between believing in god and not believing in god. In my head, I have long running arguments with whatever supreme being may or may not exist.

The current argument I’m having is “See- it’s THOSE assholes who make me not believe. It’s the bible thumpers filled with hate for gays and women and anyone that is different. It’s THOSE people, who get erections at the thought of tormenting desperate pregnant women trying to enter abortion clinics. It’s THOSE assholes who show up at funerals with “GOD HATES FAGS” signs. It’s those assholes who kill doctors in your name that make me doubt you. It’s the assholes who don’t pull the trigger, but gleefully rejoice in the suffering caused by the trigger pullers that make me think you are not there. It’s the fundamentalists of EVERY religion who use violence and death that make me think religion is a disease that must be cured”

So that is why I am an agnostic instead of an atheist. Because I have these arguments, all the time.

Bible thumpers are terrified of us non-believers. They don’t think that morality or ethics can exist without divine consequence. How can people be expected to do the right thing if there isn’t some version of hellfire awaiting them if they stray?

But not believing in god is not quite as simple as not believing in the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny doesn’t hand you a big book full of contradictory rules that you must follow.

So how do you know what’s right or wrong if someone isn’t telling you what to think?

You have to reason it out. You can’t rely on a cosmic deity saying “cause I said so “like a scolding daddy. You can start with the basics- like what is murder and why is it wrong, or is it wrong?* You have to question everything, and you have to make sure the answers you come up with are not from a self serving place (like “murder is okay if it’s …….”).

You have to be a bit of a philosopher. You have to rigorous, and dead honest, and watch out for hypocrisy. It’s a lot of work (though since I enjoy thought experiments as much as the next person- I kinda like it). And you don’t have a net to fall back on when you’re stuck with a conundrum. It’s just you. You have to accept the consequences of your beliefs without a pulpit backing you up.

You have to develop tests for your beliefs. If A is true here, then is it also true here? Are there situations where it doesn’t apply, and why?

To be a non-believer means you must question everything and then do the hard work of answering it for yourself. To be religious** means to question nothing (or very little) and go on faith alone.

Lacking religion does not mean I lack an ethical core or a moral code. It means that my moral code has be rigorously tested and questioned.

*FTR- I believe murder is bad because it violates another person’s right to bodily autonomy

**Yes- I know there are lots of thinking, questioning religious types. But the non-thinking hordes outnumber you and scream louder.